"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Triple FUCK!

OK the bloke called me just now. But this still feels really odd and forced to me. He said he didn't understand my message about when I was available. Then he asked me about Saturday night. I hate admitting I have that night free, but he mentioned that next weekend was booked for him. He has a tornament for a hobby of his and his sister's birthday.

I admitted that I had Saturday night free just not the day because I made the mistake of not transfering an appointment into my online schedule book from my little hand-written one, that that was the problem. He asked me when I would be free and I thought for a moment and said I would probably be done by 5PM.

OK so now I am confused. I said that I didn't want him to break plans with his sister, that I didn't think that was the right thing to do. He told me his sister "will not give a shit, not to worry." There we go with the curse words again.

I asked if he spoke with his sister tonight yet and he said no. So I said why don't you call her and then call me back later. He sounded SO annoyed at this point and then told me he might not be able to because he might not be able to get in touch with his sister tonight. HUH????

It just doesn't feel comfortable when we talk. Before we met the conversation was easygoing and fun. It was a bit less relaxed when we actually met. And now this conversation which sounded like he was so upset he had to be calling me and listening to the message...almost like we were a couple together for a long time and here I was pulling the same shit on him again type of tone and feeling. I am not liking this. I also don't like that he doesn't know when he can get back to me. I am not going to be at some guys beck and call. Either make appropriate plans at a reasonable time frame with me or don't ask. And if I screw up your idea of what you wanted and this annoys you, then that doesn't bode well for you with me.

Darrin asked me how I feel about the situation. Well, now I feel annoyed. I feel like I already can't be myself, like I am walking on eggshells. I don't like how I feel at all.

UPDATE:
OK here's the latest scoop. I got a call back about 15 minutes after we initially hung up. He spoke to a friend who was supposed to go to this dinner with the sister and that friend isn't available until late that evening anyway so our Saturday night date is happening.

For most of this conversation things seems to be more relaxed. I do feel there is some kind of issues he has with insecurity or some emotional thing on his end, something I am willing to bet is a diagnosed type of mental issue though. Just by listening to how he talks, his speach patterns. Nothing horrible, just maybe some anxiety thing.

Anywho, he said that he thought we might enjoy going to
Dave & Buster's since I had mentioned the Wii stuff. TADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The boy had a lightbulb moment!!!!!! I hear the trumpets playin'! :-D

He mentioned we should meet somewhere for dinner first and then picked Ben & Jerry's just to meet and then we could walk on ninth avenue where there are a million great restaurants to choose from. But then he added that he thought not only was this a good idea for us because of what I had mentioned but that his friend lives in Times Square and could meet us later. You see what I am saying about mixed messages??? So I laughed and said, "You want me to meet your friend?" He said why not and then got all tripped up. Poor guy. So he starts backpeddling and says he isn't trying to get his friends to check me out. So I laugh again because I wasn't even thinking about it that way. I was thinking, and I said to him, that he must really trust his friend to meet me so soon, since it was only a second date. And he said, "Actually I don't!" And then mumbled something about maybe it wasn't important really about the friend. HAHAHAHA! Oh poor fellow! I have to be easier on him I think. I can be sarcastic and I do like to tease. I told him I was just poking and I would be more gentle from now on because I could see he was sensitive. He told me he isn't always sure when I am kidding. Oooops! Oh well.

We spoke about some emails he sent to me earlier before meeting, where he was showing me the food he learned to prepare, one of the meals being sushi, my favorite. He even said, sometimes we can make it together. OK good sign. I had a little more idle chit chat, but then I could feel he wasn't really into chatting anymore. So there is always this give and fast take with the talking. I am not sure what this is about. I'll have to give it a go and see is all I can say.

So anyway this place sounds like fun. I have no idea how to play any of this stuff. I will probably look like a spaz. But I am going to enjoy myself. I am hoping I can get a few shots of Jack in me right before we start to play so I loosen up.

Penny for YOUR thoughts???!

3 comments:

Perplexio said...

You've mentioned that due to what your previous guy put you through you do tend to be a bit more cautious about things... The way you're describing this guy, what is coming across as insecurity, could that actually be caution on his part as well? Maybe a recent ex of his put him through the wringer a bit and he, like you, is just trying to exercise a bit of caution. It's just a thought.

Regardless, have a good time tomorrow night! I think you'll really enjoy Dave & Buster's! I've been to the one in the Cleveland area a couple of times and quite enjoyed myself.

Lauren said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lauren said...

I think by the time we pass through our mid-thirties we have seen and experienced way too much strangeness in dating, things that the marrieds have never had to experience. And yes I think it makes the best of us anxious and nervous and sometimes down-right stupid. And well, sadly I don't consider myself "the best of" so can you imagine...:-)

I know better than anyone that no one is perfect nor needs to be and that I want to be accepted just as I am. This guy seems kind and smart and sweet and that has to be enough at this point. See what a little sleep and some good commentors on a blog can do for a spastic woman ???

Thanks for all that you have done for me Darrin!!!!