"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Monday, January 7, 2008

My Weekend Date Plans

OK I have been asked what happened this weekend with my dates. Well, work happened. I don't write about what I do for a living because I want to keep my personal writings and my work life separate as I am sure you can all understand. But what I do for a living often takes me away for many hours at a moments notice but it also allows me a lot of free time too. As with anything in life there are pros and cons to everything.

So I was called off to work and had to cancel my dates for this weekend at the very last minute and I mean LAST MINUTE. My poor Saturday night date was in the car on his way to meet me and I had to tell him to turn around. I had contacted him earlier and explained the situation and asked if we could keep the plans unless I got the call to work. He was completely agreeable.

I spoke with him today and we rescheduled for this coming Saturday, same place and time. I have to say just based on this experience I am extremely hopeful for chemistry between us because from what I have been able to evaluate thus far, his character is strong.

I had a similar experience when I first started talking to my now EX. I stated many times I didn't want to make plans to meet for the first time with him until after my on call time period had ended for that month, for the very reason that just happened to me this time. I knew I might be called to work that would take me away for a long stretch of time and I asked him to be patient and wait until that happened and when I knew I would have a calm stretch of time to devote to meeting him. I also explained that I was in the middle of moving to a new apartment and really needed the time to get all these things done and be more relaxed before we set up a first date. I asked for another week past what he wanted.

If I told you the things that were said to pressure me to meeting him even when I asked him to be respectful of my time and comfort level I think not only would you agree with me that he is an A-class ass, you would also yell at me for even agreeing to meet him afterwards and perhaps even tell me I got what I deserved for being stupid enough or having lack of respect for myself to date him and give him any time past the first date either.

What a change of pace with this new fellow, so far. I am really impressed at his calmness and willingness to set up another date for this Saturday.

My Sunday date I felt even worse about. I left my home without any contact information. I did send an email through Jdate the prior day letting him know I might have to cancel due to work. But I felt so badly that he might be sitting where we arranged to meet, waiting for me feeling like an idiot getting stood up.

When I finally got home I called him and left him a voice mail explaining everything. Then I opened my Jdate mailbox and found an email from him letting me know that since he hadn't heard from me to follow-up he assumed we would need to reschedule and to please email him when I could.

Another wonderful response and show of good character. I am impressed. It is such a nice change of experience. And I am waiting to hear if we can meet this Sunday.

I don't know what the future has in store for me with either of these men. Maybe nothing or maybe something really great. I don't think that is the point. I have to take my dating life moment by moment one day at a time. At the very least, the universe is showing me a new better experience communicating with men... that it does exist. I feel blessed to be given this gift.


Barbara said...

Finally I can leave a comment...my computer was not cooperating.

I am glad the two potentials seem to have good character. We'll see what happens next :)

Lauren said...

I'll let you know after the dates. Sunday's date has been rescheduled as well. Wonderful positive energy!