"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Stupid Men, Stupid Deaths

I've gone out with some strange men in my life. I've had my own embarrasing moments too. Well, at least I didn't date these men.

Death by Beard

Austrian Hans Steininger was famous for having the world’s longest beard (it was 4.5 feet or nearly 1.4 m long) and for dying because of it.

One day in 1567, there was a fire in town and in his haste Hans forgot to roll up his beard. He accidentally stepped on his beard, lost balance, stumbled, broke his neck and died!


Death From Holding a Pee In (SEE YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER)

Danish nobleman and astronomer
Tycho Brahe [wiki] was one interesting fellow. He kept a dwarf as a court jester who sat under the table during dinner. He even had a tame pet moose. Tycho also lost the tip of his nose in a duel with another Danish nobleman and had to wear a "dummy" nose made from silver and gold, but that’s another story. It was said that Tycho had to hold his pee during one particularly long banquet in 1601 (getting up in the middle of a dinner was considered really rude) that his bladder, strained to its limits, developed an infection which later killed him! Later analyses suggested that Tycho died because of mercury poisoning but that’s not nearly as interesting as the original story.


Death by Jury Demonstration (NEXT TIME YOU DATE A LAWYER AND FEEL INTIMIDATED BY HIS SCHOOLING AND INTELLIGENCE REMEMBER THIS STORY)

After the Civil War, controversial Ohio politician
Clement Vallandigham [wiki] became a highly successful lawyer who rarely lost a case.In 1871, he defended Thomas McGehan who was accused of shooting one Tom Myers during a barroom brawl. Vallandigham’s defense was that Myers had accidentally shot himself while drawing his pistol from a kneeling position.To convince the jury, Vallandigham decided to demonstrate his theory. Unfortunately, he grabbed a loaded gun by mistake and ended up shooting himself!
By dying, Vallandigham succeeded in demonstrating the plausibility of the accidental shooting and got his client acquitted.


Death by Drowning at a Lifeguards’ Party.

In 1985, to celebrate their first drowning-free season ever, the lifeguards of the New Orleans recreation department decided to throw themselves a party.
When the party ended, a 31-year-old guest named
Jerome Moody was found dead on the bottom of the recreation department’s pool. We suppose when it’s your time to go, then it’s your time to go: there were four lifeguards on duty and more than half of the 200 party-goers were themselves lifeguards!

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