"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Saturday, January 26, 2008

The Mad Scientist Questions

OK I know you are all waiting to hear how this Friday night date went with my scientist. I'd like to know how it went too. I am honestly baffled.

We were supposed to watch a DVD but I could not find the remote to the television, who the heck keeps those anymore when the cable company gives you one that runs the television and the box??? Well apparently you need that stupid remote so that you can tell the television to turn to the DVD signal. So we didn't watch a movie.

What we did was talk the entire night.

I ran around all day getting some nice food items to get us started. I have a great gourmet store near me with the most delicious prepared foods. I bought a cucumber salad, and then walked to the health food store and bought organic cherry tomatos and combined them to make a nice salad. I also had a nice bottle of Yellow Tail Chiraz.

The Thai restuarant was mysteriously closed, which was our plan for dinner. I ordered in sushi and we had the salad and wine while we waited for the sushi to be delivered. We played with my Flip video camera. I have two short shots he and I took. I am tempted to share them but then I would be posting him without his permission and that is karma I am not willing to create.

We talked about renting a movie from the on-demand channel but never got around to it. To be honest I wasn't really in the mood and we didn't have that much time for each other. He let me know before he came over that he could only stay until midnight because he had to get up early the next day for a pinball tournament he was scheduled to participate in.

I had a Micheal Buble CD playing and he asked me to sing. On our first date I had teased him that I would just start singing in the middle of the tiny restaurant. You should have seen the expression on his face, not knowing if I would do it or not. I didn't! But since then he had asked me to sing for him numerous times. So with the disclaimer that I was not professing my love for him, but chose a song I know I do well and happen to love, I put on this CD and sang the duet, Cuando Cuando Cuando. I looked straight into his eyes and sang to him.

He told me I should be on American Idol and I laughted my ass off.

I ran into my bedroom and came out with a gift in one of my hands, behind my back. I had the tiniest little pinball game that I found in a novalty store in Manhatten earlier in the week in one of my hands. I teased him and said choose a hand. Do you know what Mr. Logic said to me??? He said, "Shouldn't you have both hands in front of you while asking me to choose?" (OY VEY! No! No I shouldn't because the damn thing is too big for my hands and will stick out, you big 6ft plus turd! SHUT UP AND CHOOSE A HAND!!!!) Well he chose the hand that was empty. I thought that was funny. He did not. So well eventually I just gave him the little toy. He LOVED IT! He thought it was really cute and I think he liked that I had a little gift for him. He said to me, "This is like a good luck charm for my tournament tomorrow!!!" And I said, "YES, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT IS AND WHY I GOT IT FOR YOU!!" I was excited that without having to say anything he completely understood my gesture. HOT FRIGGIN DAMN!!

The rest of the night was him chatting with me about a whole lot of nothing. He loves to talk and I love to listen. But he wants me to ask him questions. Ask me? What am I supposed to KEEP asking him? He knows a lot of useless but interesting facts and stories and I find it facinating to listen to him and how he thinks. But I am not the same as he is. I don't analyze things in the same way he does. Because as I said in an earlier post, he is very logical and I am emotional by nature. So while I enjoy listening to him I have the feeling I bore him to death.

This is a man who worked with a Nobel Prize winner in science not too many years ago. I learned this story listening to him last night. I think that scientist did something with superconductors. Please don't ASK me what that shit is! It is smarty fart stuff that is beyond my comprehension.

Look, I can't be mad. I asked the universe to provide a situation like this for me. I begged for a nice sweet smart guy who wasn't going to be after me for the sexualness between us ONLY. I asked the universe and all of you included, what to talk about on dates, how to talk on dates, and to not be with a guy who treats it like a job interview, with job interview type questions. And that is what I am dating. But this is a "muscle" I have not had to use in a long time and I am frustrated and to be honest nervous. Because I would like to be better enough at this to hold his interest.

Have you ever had one of those dreams where it starts with you being with one person doing something in a place you never saw in real life but feels real to you, and then suddenly switches to being with another person? Well I had one of those last night where I was with him and he dropped me because he found himself smitten with some other woman who was more demure than I. I barely know this Mad Scientist so I do not like having a dream this strong in this way. And too often in my life I have had dreams that either foreshadowed something that was about to happen or were symbols to let me know things I should be working on. Perhaps I am being guided to be more demure with him. ???

Well back to the date. I payed him some compliments. After all he really did look attractive last night. I got him talking in a flirty way with me and this was fun for both of us. I am not going to share the details of that private conversation. Before the next thing happened, he made sure to remind me that he was not a forward type of guy.

About 11:30 last night he starts to tell me how tired he is and should go home. Now look, he has been this way from the start, so I cannot tell if this is that strong logical guy and he means nothing by it or this is just not happening for him. I have always heard and felt myself that the best dates are the ones where you just don't want them to end no matter what. He doesn't show that to me and it seems so important that he be so logical about all his moves that I can't figure this out, or maybe I have and just do not want to admit it to myself?

I convinced him to stay a half hour longer. I told him to lay down and relax with me. He laid down on my new couch and we spooned each other and it felt nice and I could tell he liked it too. I realized I was going to have to be more forward, hence his comment to me about NOT being forward. I turned around and stared at him and finally FINALLY the Mad Scientist softened up and kissed me.

It was short-lived. He was tired and really wanted to get going.

I know I don't want this to be about sex. Having him over wasn't an invite for sex. But there can be a nice tasteful inbetween when dating someone. Show some g-d damn affection! Kissing him felt nice and I wasn't looking for it (kissing) to end so quickly.

It was like being with the male equivilant of the female dick tease. I made a comment in this manner and he laughed hard and told me it was payback for last weekend's situation! HUH?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As he was putting his shoes back on (I have a no shoes in the house rule) he mentioned that we should play the Wii together and he talked about next weekend with me. He said we will talk during the week.


So as you can see from this very matter of fact, tit for tat post, things are going very slow, and are somewhat puzzling for me. I'd like more passion. Not the kind that over takes both people and there is nothing else, but at some point shut up, don't ask me to ask you questions and let's get this chemistry between us fired up. Otherwise we are just friends and I am not interested in that with him.


Anonymous said...

work on him a little..if he means something to you then it's worth the effort..he might be a little hesitant because of past experiences..see if you can find that out in a subtle way (women are good at that)you might be confusing him a little as well..men aren't as compicated in the way they go about things especially if he is the logical type..have fun:):)

Lauren said...

Robert, I think the ball is totally in his court, which leaves me zero control of this situation. I personally could be ok with many things about all this because I have the ability to be more open and flexible than he does. If he needs more intellectual stimulation...if he needs to find a logical reason to have feelings then we are toast. There ain't much I can do about that.

I asked him why he broke up with the last woman he had a relationship with...which was this summer. I asked him "Did you enjoy your time with her?" He said, "Yes" I said, "Did you look forward to seeing her each time?" He said, "Yes". And so that was even more baffling to me. He said he was in love before and knows what it feels like and it wasn't that (in the six weeks they were seeing each other) and that he didn't think it was fair to her since she was 39 to keep dragging it out.

For me, if I am looking forward to see the guy and enjoying his company I am happy and like that person. I am not looking to break things off. I am more simple in this way and more complicated in others.


Perplexio said...

He's definitely interested. Given his age, if he weren't, he already would have moved on. But that being said he's also being very cautious and moving slowly. I'm not sure if this is due to is logical/analytical nature or if maybe he still has his guard up a bit from a possible previous heartbreak.

On the flip side, is he worth your patience? Is it worth it for you to take your time with him? You have to ask yourself if you like this guy enough to take things as slow as he seems to want to take them.

Lauren said...

Darrin, I can go as slow as he needs as long as I know it is because he wants to be here with me. It is the friggin holding pattern that is making me nuts. I just hate being in this spot and I am not sure I agree with your assesment on his feelings toward me but I do hope you and Robert are correct. I want you to prove me wrong!!!

Robert, I added your poetry site to my blogroll. LOVE IT!