"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Strange Revelations

Well, as I embark on a new chapter of my dating life I had an "odd" experience today. I received an email from a social networking site friend wanting to add a comment to my profile. Since this is the site I met DTM through I have not gone on since. I was pretty late to the game of joining these sites in the first place. I never really understood the idea behind them. It's so weird to put a profile up and let people you don't know read a few words and then ask to be your friend.

Blogging feels very different. You find someone's blog and see if their ideas and thoughts match and mesh with yours and keep up with it. Sometimes you leave a comment or email them and continue the communication and establish a friendship where you actually share your life with that person. The social networking sites don't seem to establish this at all. It seems more like a popularity contest to see who can get more photos of people in their friends bin.

When I met DTM through the site, I really had no idea what I was in for. It seemed like hyper speed to me, and I tend to learn and live fast to begin with. Can you imagine the pace? I wanted emails and exchanges of thoughts and to be able to take my time getting to know him. But I was pushed pushed pushed to move fast, give information about my life, past etc...Just way too much too soon.

Well as all of you already know, that connection didn't end well. My honesty was never welcomed because of course I was playing with a liar and oil and water don't mix. I know that even in the face of being lied to and treated poorly I was also not perfect at times. I did my best to apologize for those misgivings when I finally had time to process everything. I, being the person I am, just didn't want to live without saying I was sorry for my mistakes and stating I wish I understood things better and had been able to do things without making all those mistakes. I never received an apology in return.

So, today when I logged on to see the comment from this social networking friend, to my surprise I saw I was delisted from DTM's friend list. What a strange event and feeling. I never would have done the same to him and I was used, and lied to from start to finish, but I didn't want to hold anger in my heart and didn't want to send that energy to the other person, even though I felt used and abused and very hurt by his actions towards me. Needless to say for about a half hour this really felt like I had been punched in the heart.

It's been a strange learning experience to say the least.

I never felt connected to DTM and it was very easy for me to get right back out there. And tonight I am supposed to meet a new guy. I am hoping this date can actually transpire. I am on call for my job and might have to work and reschedule the date. Unlike that one Jdate fellow who didn't have the courtesy to tell me until the last minute that he could not make our date, I immediately contacted tonight's date and asked if I could let him know later if we could reschedule and explained the situation. He was a sweetheart about it. Score one for this guy. I am pretty excited to meet him based on the two exchanges we had and the character he has exemplified thus far.

I'll keep you updated! :-)

1 comment:

Barbara (aka Layla) said...

Wow! I just read the above post and then this one. You are right - that is funny about the whole online dating thing being formal...ha! And I personally don't think Social Networking sites will replace dating sites.

As far as tonight's date - I hope you get to go! I will be waiting anxiously for DETAILS!