"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Mr. P. Niss - Courtesy Of Email From My Mother

YES! I received this via email




The Day the Penis asked for a Raise

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
P. Niss

The Response

Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
V. Gina


Anonymous said...

I like Mom....:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Drowsey Monkey said...

AHAHAHAHAHA! Now THAT'S funny!!!! And I agree with Robert, I like Mom too (I'm sure for different reasons)

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

Thanks to Drowsey for sending me over here! (Hi Robert!) This is very funny! And I think P. Niss sounds like a real dick. ;)

Lauren said...

Robert and Drowsey - Yes, Mom does like the shock value from time to time! :-)

Olga - Well well Missy, it is good to finally see you stop by my blog! I hope I won't disappoint ya too much.

While this post was funny most of my posts are introspective...
although I suspect make people laugh (at me) without that being my intent ;-)

Julie - Thanks for stopping by the other day and commenting too!