"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Being More Social

I have had a very social week. I made this promise to myself and I have begun fulfilling it.

Monday night I went to an event through a meetup.com group which had the topic "Understanding the Opposite Sex". It was a free event held at a wine bar around the corner from where I had my first apartment in Manhattan almost 17 years ago.

There must have been 100 people in attendance. It was a decent male/female ratio. It was eye opening. The things I learned that people do...OMG. The things I learned I should not have done, mainly with DTM...which showed insecurity etc... I sort of figured out those things aftewards but during was oh so confusing. But I digress.

Did you know that men think women (and women admitted to this) go out with them and then call their male friends for a romp instead of doing the nasty with the men they are dating? Some man stood up and asked this question with such frustration...why do women do this? As in why won't you sleep with me...I know you are doing this?

I thought to myself, WTF is he talking about. I have NEVER done this. I didn't know people did that, men or women. Well, I guess after DTM I knew it. I woke up to what is really happening. But well....

I learned a lot that night. I do have a better understanding of men.

I am learning how to flirt face to face again. I am learning how to converse and be more social and light. I have hid from this for some time now. I have felt very unskilled for so long. But I am getting out there. And surprisingly I am doing well.

Last night I went to a karaoke event. It was close to where I was going to be and I do like to sing as you all know well. The group was fun. I met some nice people and decided to test out some new skills and just walk up to men. I learned on Monday night how to show with body language that I was open. I hadn't realized that holding a glass of wine in front of you shows you are closed off. I always felt more comfortable with something in my hands. This time I made sure my drink was not in front of me.

I met a very funny and flamboyant gay man. As if I didn't know he was, he let me know. It was hysterical. He told me I should scan the room and tell him who I wanted to meet and he would lure him over to me. He also told me that I should already know I am "all that" and that I should be able to get anything I wanted from a man because of how I look.

I almost pissed on the floor hearing him say this to me!

I gave him my card so he could let me know about more events to invite me to but I decided to try my skills alone without his help that night.

I started a conversation with a young man and apparently he liked me. HA! I did give him my number although I have a little bit of regret about it. He seemed just a tad bit overeager which I wasn't too happy about, but didn't realize until after I handed him my number.

What I thought was hysterical about this was that he is 10 years my junior. He did ask me my age and I scoffed at him, " A lady never tells her age." He guessed 28-29. I'll take it!

It's good for my ego. It's a good exercise for me to test how to approach and what to say or not and what works, or seems to work and what does not. At the very least I make a new friend. Who knows...one of these guys could lead me to the one who is right for me.


Julie said...

Once you get to be a certain age....Like after 21(?).....Isn't it nice when someone guesses your age to be younger than you actually are?

Lauren said...

Hi Julie, Thanks for stopping by!!! YES IT IS SUPER NICE. I had it happen again tonight. I went to a bar and sat alone. After an hour three guys came in and sat next to me. RIGHT next to me was a handsome Jewish man and he started to talk to me. We did exchange numbers. Turns out he is 29. I just get the biggest giggle. Face to face I get the hot youngins' online, the old farts. HA! Will check out your blog soon!