"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Being Played

What can I say? Do I think he did it with intent? Probably not. He probably doesn't even realize the humongous games he played with me. He is probably even more confused about how to date than I am. But the end result is the same. I got played.

I'm not sure what lessons I am supposed to get from this experience. Maybe it is soley to accept that this is how it is out there and to not take it so personally & so hard. It's not about me. It's about them. Perhaps the only thing I am doing wrong is overthinking each situation.

I am not even sure what I will write about on this blog for the next few weeks. Maybe there will be more dating experiences to amuse you with. However, I realize I am not cut out for this "dating" bullshit. It's just not who I am. I am a deeper person. I need relationships with people, both men and women.

My good friend Brian, who wrote a post for this blog and will write more at some point, suggested that I go out in groups, with friends and take my time to get to know people through shared experiences and activities. I will be seeking out these type of opportunities more and more and doing my best to move away from this online dating and dating in general.

I am not a dater. I am a relationship-type person. I want to be in a good relationship. There I said it!

Dating is for figuring out who you are and what you want and need. I have already done that. I truly am ready for that last life-long relationship to present.

I went out last night for shits and giggles and to amuse myself and waste time and blow off steam. I was crystal clear with this young man that I was NOT interested in him as anything more than a new neighborhood friend. I could have been talking to the wall. He was not listening to me. It became a chore to have to say no thank you.

While it was flattering and nice and very needed to be told how beautiful I am, hot I am, and attractive I am at some point you also have to listen to my words when I say I am not interested in you as more than a friend and let it go. And there's the difference between my code of ethics and the last guy of 31. Nicely but clearly I stated I was not interested. I won't play games and be hurtful or lead anyone on.

I needed last night out. It was welcomed. I will probably do it again soon. I might even take my friend "D's" advice and go by myself next time. That way I can sit for two hours, perhaps have a drink bought by some guy and chat with him a little and then say goodnight and go home. No pressure and no chore.


Anonymous said...

don't overthink..you know what you want let it happen..let your emotions and intuition work for you...go out in a group and interact...

Lauren said...

Good to see you around and about Robert! I missed ya!

You are correct! It just sucks to meet someone who can stomp on your heart like that and really be so compassionless.

It's so weird though. Since that happened, two times in two days I have had two seperate men comment to me about how young I look and how beautiful I am...out of nowhere. I might write about this later. One said something rather profound to me. :-)