"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Saturday, March 29, 2008

I've Hit My WTF Moment In Dating

I've had a very interesting week. I went to many social events and spoke with some friends. I've even had to let some go as well. A very smart woman I know reminded me that sometimes some people are meant to come into our lives for a short period of time to impart some lesson or wisdom on us and others are meant for our entire lives. She told me that some people will travel in and out and those that we can pick up right where we left off after being out of touch for a while are our true friends. Smart woman.

In many of the moments I spent conversing with friends as well as the social event I went to Monday night I got some interesting insight into the male mind. And it really made me hit a WTF moment. I simply don't understand how something as important as sex can and should be something men expect after 3-5 dates and yet other topics that would involve activities that are much less serious, like going to a sporting event that might not be your favorite team, with a date or a friend requires such contemplation and cost benefit analysis. It truely boggles my mind!

And I learned that when I go out and mingle young guys hit on me left and right but when I hide behind my computer using Jdate, and I am forced to list my age, only the old men want to get to know me.

Another wise woman I know told me to get my ass out of the house and stop using online sources. She hasn't been the only one. I have a good friend who does not blog, that has been telling me the same thing. She and her fiance keep saying to get away from the computer.

Well I took all of their advice. It wasn't easy. Doing something new is never an easy feeling. But I did it. I went out. I joined a slew of meetup.com groups and I just walked in, knowing zero people. I had a blast. The people were all fun and friendly and I am glad that I listened to these very wise people who obviously care about me enough to say what I didn't want to hear at the moment.

Before my dinner event last night I had time to kill. Upon the advice of one of the friends I mentioned above, I walked into a bar on 52nd Street and Third Avenue, just around the corner from where the crane accident was the other week, and sat my big ole ass on a bar stool. I watched the damn television by myself for almost an hour. I thought what the heck was she telling me to do this by myself for. And then about 15 minutes before I needed to leave, three nice looking guys come in and ask to sit next to me. One goes to the bathroom, and when he comes back he turns his frickin' chair into the other two and faces his back to me. I thought WTF (there it is again. :-) But I caught that fella looking at me in the mirror directly across. FINALLY he turns and apologizes for giving me his back.

Well, we started chatting it up. Turns out he is adorable, Jewish, has a good job and we like to do a lot of the same things. I told him I had to meet friends and he asked me if I would stay. Of course I could not. I gave him my card and mentioned possibly having time for him next weekend if he calls. I explained I don't call men. :-) He gave me his card as well. He didn't ask me my age, but I know his. 29! He had a cute smile and adorable energy. I do hope he calls.


Drowsey Monkey said...

Woohoo! Glad you went out into the world too! And as for the sex / sporting event thing ... I totally get that, but that's just because I unfortunately understand men ... perhaps better than I thought I did. LOL LOL Scary!

Lily said...

WTG he sounds like a nice guy I hope he calls I really need to get out & try the daiting thing but ugh its never easy...

Lauren said...

Drowsey- YEP getting myself out there. I forgot how much fun it is once I push myself to get on the train. Just incredibly fun. I was out until 3am last night. Will try to write more about it later. Right now I am watching Olivia who is sleeping for hours and very sick :-(

Lily, It is so hard at first. Once you do it a couple of times and get your confidence up, it starts to feel like fun. Let us know what you do and how it goes.