"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Why I Won't Feed This Monster

Recently I had a few exchanges in a short period of time with someone who's reactions to our "conversations" were rather off-putting.

I'm a pretty open person. I will accept others POV's as long as mine are respected. What I WILL stand on ceremony about is when that value is not respected. Then all bets are off.

I also own my words and actions and refuse to let someone tell me what I can or cannot say or ask. I expect those who will Be A Part Of My Life, to own their own words and actions too.

I get to ask anything, you get to choose not to answer. When you demand that I not do or say something it's not only a red flag with me, it sends me willingly packing.

You can choose to accept all of me or none of me. It's really that simple.

As this was all happening the following email came into my box from Daily Om:

Disapproving Faces Not Everybody Will Like You

It is not necessarily a pleasant experience, but there will be times in our lives when we come across people who do not like us. As we know, like attracts like, so usually when they don’t like us it is because they are not like us. Rather than taking it personally, we can let them be who they are, accepting that each of us is allowed to have different perspectives and opinions. When we give others that freedom, we claim it for ourselves as well, releasing ourselves from the need for their approval so we can devote our energy toward more rewarding pursuits.

While approval from others is a nice feeling, when we come to depend on it we may lose our way on our own path. There are those who will not like us no matter what we do, but that doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with us. Each of us has our own filters built from our experiences over time. They may see in us something that is merely a projection of their understanding, but we have no control over the interpretations of others. The best we can do is to hope that the role we play in the script of their lives is helpful to them, and follow our own inner guidance with integrity.

As we reap the benefits of walking our perfect paths, we grow to appreciate the feeling of fully being ourselves. The need to have everyone like us will be replaced by the exhilaration of discovering that we are attracting like-minded individuals into our lives—people who like us because they understand and appreciate the truth of who we are. We free ourselves from trying to twist into shapes that will fit the spaces provided by others’ limited understanding and gain a new sense of freedom, allowing us to expand into becoming exactly who we’re meant to be. And in doing what we know to be right for us, we show others that they can do it too. Cocreating our lives with the universe and its energy of pure potential, we transcend limitations and empower ourselves to shine our unique light, fully and freely.
What do you think?


Jessica said...

You are exactly right...we cannot change who we are for anyone else! Just like we can't expect anyone to alter themselves for us. As humans we can accept people or not. Live with them, so to speak, or not.

I like what the Daily OM says about realizing that not everyone will like us. I think some people never learn that...they spend their whole lives trying to fit into some sort of idea of who they think people want them to be. That is really sad. It all comes back to owning ourselves. Then we can truly be happy and live our best lives. :)

Lauren said...

Jess, I love you! You are super and you just seem to "get it." Stay great!

Jessica said...

Aw, thanks! :)

Da Old Man said...

I'm truly sorry someone is hassling you. Life is short, why spread misery?
I don't get it.
Heck, it's the internet. It allows for rudeness with no redress.

Lauren said...

D.O.M. - Hassle, hmmm...not quite hassle. No one does to us what we don't let them, true? The internet makes it easier, that's for sure. But Lauren has learned a lot over the years, through her painful lessons and I realized rather quickly to let this person go and let them stew by themselves.

BTW, it's not he kisser. He's been texting me this afternoon. Might see him later or just speak on the phone. Depends on his work schedule and my energy level. :-)

Drowsey Monkey said...


Okay, let me put this out there ;)

In the universe where people attract what they put out there ... why then do we attract those kinds of people into our lives?

Anytime someone annoys me ... I always stop and think about what I'm doing ... not what they're doing. What am being taught about myself in this situation?

Lauren said...

Drowsey, good point. Glad you brought that up. I think this is where most people lose sight of spirituality. It's not always something we have done. Sometimes it is simply a lesson to be learned. As in my case, I am willing to bet the lesson was about how I would react and handle myself with a person like this as I have encountered this kind of man before. I needed to A)recognize the situation B)realize how much I have grown C)react differently, which was not to react further, to show the universe that I did indeed learn the lesson, as well as to myself. I needed to be shown how much I have grown.

We are never responsible for other people's behaviors toward us, only our own and our own reactions.

Have you read Marianne Williamson or Caroline Myss? Just curious.

swile67 said...

btw...i love your new profile pic/headliner!

Lauren said...

Karyne, Thanks! :-)