"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Friday, July 4, 2008

Happy Independence Day!

It's the 4th of July, The United States of America's Independence Day!

I'll be at Rockaway Beach with some friends today. Woohoo! I'll be enjoying the fun and the sun.

Lately my posts have been very fluffy. It's not because I don't have anything to say so much as I am working on my own FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE. I am working hard to launch and build my business and working with some other women to create a stronger company and temping at the same time.

I'm tired. A LOT!

So while Malcolm comes lurking here a lot waiting for my post on race it's not been here for him to read. I'd like to think that he is enjoying the lighter posts and at some point would partake in their spirit and comment on those too. It's good to get out of our heads and learn the feelings and fun of sillier, lighter moments and blog posts. They have just as much value as the long thought out deep ones.

But don't fret they'll be back. When I am not sure but they will. There's too much stirring up there for it to not land on this blog.

In the meantime I hope you all enjoy your July 4th, the fireworks and the true spirit of the day.


Jessica said...

Happy 4th!!! :)

leezee52 said...

Happy 4th! About the award at that time I guess either I didn't see it or didn't know what it was. Sorry.....but Thanks for the award!

Lee :)

leezee52 said...

It's me again. I went back to your June post and re-read it and I just spaced it. G-d I'm sorry!!!
I promise I'll pay attention to the posts! :)

Lauren said...

Jessica, back at ya!

Lee- Happy 4th to you. No problem! :-)


Drowsey Monkey said...

What is fluff, really? I like fluff ... unless it's under my couch or swirling around my floor or something.

Enjoy your day! Happy July 4th!

Lauren said...

Drowsey, I agree that's the worst kinda fluff. I have so much of that here where I live. Hmmm!

Malcolm said...

It's just me (the so-called lurker). Although I have been checking for the post on race, I have been reading your other ones as well. As a matter of fact, I commented on the post you did about the death of George Carlin. The only time I choose to comment on a blog is if it's something that interests me and I have something to add.

My pop culture blog is a mix of heavy and light (mostly leaning towards the latter). The posts I write range from the suspension of Golf Channel anchor Kelly Tilghman to a montage of Ellen Degeneres dancing during her talk show.

Although my intent is to sometimes write something thought-provoking and open up a dialogue, there are other instances where my only goal is to bring a smile to someone's face.

Lauren said...


"The only time I choose to comment on a blog is if it's something that interests me and I have something to add." -True, but what is your focus that seems to be of interest?

Funny you came today and posted. Tomorrow I think you will be happier...well maybe. Hopefully you will come without agenda and really hear what I have to say.

Malcolm said...

Lauren: "True, but what is your focus that seems to be of interest?"

Since that may be a rhetorical question, I won't answer it. Having said that, I will add that on the occasions where I have visited and "lurked", I haven't been just looking for your post on race. I have read some of the other things you have written. Since neither cats nor the Wordless Wednesday meme interest me, I declined to comment on those posts. I caught a bit of your post about "Five Dating Phone Rules", but didn't have time to finish it. As you may have already noticed, I did partake in the conversation about your trip to Rockaway.

I'm looking forward to whatever it is you are planning on posting tomorrow. You can rest assured that I will read it with an open mind.

Lauren said...

Malcolm, Here's the thing, at least for me that is. I blog to share and connect. I don't do it for money. It was never my intent. I might in the future but for now I do not. So when you cherry pick only when as you state something interests you, you have the unintended result of saying, I don't interest you or that what I am doing is of no signifigance to you. In some ways i can be very thick skinned and others totally thin. But perhaps you will take a better look at MY COMMUNITY and see that we come here and comment and I go there and comment often even if it isn't something that would normally interest me for the one and only fact that it is interesting my blog friend enough to post about and I want to support them. And I love that the most about what I created for myself in this piece of cyberspace. The blogs I go to aren't necessarily because of the missions of that person but is certainly because I have developed a friendship with them and love hearing what they have to say and the way they say it.

It's ok what you are saying but this is a personal blog. I started it about dating but it really has turned into something else, more of a mixed bag blog. It's me, good bad or ugly.

So hopefully if you continue to come back it won't be just to look for articles with topics that are near and dear to your heart.

AND I hope you will come without agenda when I do write those deeper more controversial pieces, like the one I am posting tomorrow. Because if you come with agenda and ONLY want to say what you want, regardless of the point I make, we can go round and round but that is all it will ever be.

Malcolm said...

Lauren: You may not realize it, but the two of us blog for the same reason. Because I love discussing pop culture, I decided to start my blog so that I could connect with others who do too.

Just to be clear, I don't just visit your blog looking for topics that are near and dear to me. Although I may not comment on every post, I don’t consider that “cherry picking” as you called it. Do you think that every member of YOUR COMMUNITY comments on every post that you write? You can look at the comments links on your blog and determine that this isn't so.

As you may or may not know, I write about a wide variety of topics within the world of pop culture. As a result, my readership consists of blacks, whites, males, females, young people, those who are middle-aged, etc. etc. Because I touch on a wide variety of topics, there will be some posts that may have zero interest to some. Although a person might read it, they may choose not to comment because they may feel they have nothing to say. I don't take it personal. Along those same lines, I don't think you've ever read my blog. If you have, you certainly haven't left any comments. Does this mean I don't interest you or that what I am doing is of no significance to you?

Another reason that people may choose not to comment is because they don't know enough about the topic in question. For example, I read your post about the series "Swingtown". Since I only watched the first few minutes of the show, I decided not to comment. However, I do plan on watching it eventually. If and when I do, I will revisit your post and share my thoughts on the series.

Something I look forward to on most weeks is the Thursday Thirteen meme. I love it because it's a great way to connect with all sorts of people. As a result of my participation, I have picked up some readers and in turn discovered blogs that I read on a regular basis. Believe it or not, there have even been times where I've learned something fascinating about a topic out of my normal realm of interest. Example: there is a blogger who lives in Israel who occas. does Thursday Thirteen lists about the Jewish faith. These posts have been both educational and entertaining to me.

One thing that I hate about the Thursday Thirteen meme is when people with nothing to say leave generic comments because they feel obligated to do so. For example, I have seen the following on my blog as well as others, "Interesting list. Happy TT". To me that says, "Your list holds no interest for me (to be honest, I didn‘t even read it). However, I felt I had to say something. Besides, I want to get my link out there so others can visit my blog." That's a bunch of insincere BS in my book. What would you prefer? That someone leave you an empty, generic comment or an honest, heartfelt one?

You seem to be concerned about a so-called agenda that you think I might bring to your blog when it comes to controversial topics. You also feel that it would be fruitless for me to only say what I want. I’m confused; should I say what you want me to say? Sorry, but my name isn’t “Lester” and I’ve never sat on Willie Tyler’s lap. As I stated previously, I will read what you have to say with an open mind. However, that doesn’t mean that we will necessarily be in lockstep. I am confident that we can have a mature, intelligent discussion even if your post causes differences of opinion.

Lauren said...

Malcolm, thank you for your diatribe. I believe it proves my point.

You didn't really "listen" to my POV. You went through it to give a tit for tat rebuttle. You have a position and you are sticking to it. That is certainly your perogative.

Nope as I said earlier in my comments section I wasn't going to visit your blog YET because you challenged me to write a post on race and I didn't want to read what you had to say and then basically end up responding to it in my piece. I want to write without that bias or persuasion and have it be my own.

I am not easily manipulated into doing things I don't feel are correct for me. I will listen to how others feel and give it thought into my possible actions. And there's a difference. I honestly am not sure you do that from the comments I have seen thus far on my blog. Perhaps you will make me eat my words after my post today pops up at 7am. I don't know.

You have twisted my words in what comes off as a very angry response about your choosing to comment or no on my blog posts.

I never told you what to do. I told you how I felt about what you do.

I don't write to get into such large debates with people. I write to get my thoughts out of my mind and yes I am open for a little bit of discussion.

It seems to me that your idea of discussion and mine are very different. Yours is more heavy and heated and you have extremely strong opinions and ideas, which I do as well, but you seem to need me or others to agree heavily with yours so much so that it just doesn't appear that you even are open to the dissenting opinion.

I am not telling you that is how you actually think, I am telling you the end result of how your comments have appeared thus far.

I'd like to end this here as this is not the kind of debate that is productive.

While I don't write a funny blog per se like Carrie, I am also not a super heavy handed blog either and this kind of debate, feels more like a personal attack than a debate on topic. Therefore it's just not appropriate. As I said I blog about me for me, to be a part of an amazing community that is supportive and caring toward me. They don't always agree but they are supportive. It brings me a feeling I need which helps me in the rest of my life. What is happening thus far between us, because you don't like what I had to say, leaves me with the crummiest of feelings and is not why I blog. I can get that with someone on the street. Here I seek support.

I do welcome your thoughts if you can remember this when commenting here. I don't want someone to be rosy with me or fake but I do expect that a dissenting opinion is written with respect for the blog writer.

Malcolm said...

Lauren: I'm glad you enjoyed my "diatribe" as you call it. Normally, I charge $10. However, that one was on the house. Please take the preceding two sentences in the tongue-in-cheek manner in which they were intended.

I agree that this "back and forth" has reached the unproductive stage. It's unfortunate that for the most part, we have only seen one aspect of each other's personality. If my comments have left you feeling "crummy", trust me when I say that was not my intent. Because it's impossible to determine the tone of what someone writes, I am starting to think that I should have ended some of my statements with a smiley face; seriously. You may not believe this, but I had a grin on my face for a majority of the time that I was writing that last response.

You keep saying that I challenged you to write a post on race. In your response to the first comments I made on your post, you closed by saying "If you'd like to get into this more I will take a lot of time and make a good thought out long post." In my reply back, I said I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject. To me, that doesn't constitute a challenge. :-)

You seem to be under the assumption that my blog consists entirely of race-related topics. That's only a fraction of what I cover. Sure, I initially invited you to read my post about the Don Imus situation. You gave your reason for why you didn't want to read it, which is understandable. However, you were and still are more than welcome to comment on other posts that I write which have nothing to do with race. If you come with an open mind, you might be surprised by what you read. :-)

One of the things I love about blogging is the varying points of view that people bring to the topics on which I post. Some people agree with me, some don't. I wouldn't enjoy it nearly as much if people who read my blog were all on the same page as me.

I look forward to reading the post you wrote today when I have time later this afternoon/evening. If it turns out that I make you eat your words, I hope that it's on an empty stomach. :-)