The Difference Between Us and Them

After the dx of Sadie I immediately joined a Yahoo group to gain knowlege to help her. While it has already been beneficial I have already met the nastiest person to date who just happens to be French. How do I know this? Because the very first post I saw from this person mentioned this in his post after telling someone who asked a very simple question for help to "use your brain" and then continued to tell them how it was in France.

Well, I was so offended and I made a post stating my offense. This poor person is asking for help and this nasty person, WHO HAPPENS TO BE FRENCH, couches this rude mean angry response to the entire group and goes on to then say how great it is in France and how inexpensive it is.

What happened when I did this? A very anti-american post reply was given and NO ONE COMPLAINED ABOUT IT. NONE.

Here was the original post:
Use your brain. I have a lot of cats, till recently 19, now 18, and I spent most of my budget on expensive medicines prescribed by vets, medicines that in the end either didn't do anything, or even did harm. The best care for your FIV+ cats doesn't cost any money: good hygiene. Which is a matter of discipline and hard work. Keep the bacterial level inside your house as low as possible, clean the litter boxes on a daily base. Keep the house flea free, keep the garden flea and tick free, and remove all stools on a daily base.The food doesn't have to be expensive. I and some others believe that raw feeding is good. When shopping cleverly, raw feeding can be as affordable as Purina or Hill's biscuits.You are now going through the vet mill and I can assure you one thing; after you tried all the expensive medicines they prescribed to your cat and it turned out nothing helped him, they will say; well we don't know then, and you will be all on your own.The best help for my cats came from forums like this one, and it was all for free.The basic consulting fee here in France is 25 euros by the way. That is about $35.

Right or wrong I was so offended I wrote this:
That was one of the rudest posts I have ever read. "use your brain" You know, as someone new I am going to go at this right back in a rude way, so to the rest forgive me but you can take that rude attitude back to France where it belongs!

This poster then posted although it seems was removed by the list owner, disparaging remarks about Americans and how much we are hated by all especially Arabs (as if that is something to be ashamed of...NOT) and how sad that must be for all of us.

I was then emailed directly and told I was mentally ill, stupid idiot and a myriad of other insults.

In the past two days I also received off list, emails from other members telling me of similar experiences with this person and commiserating with me. It was helpful to get honestly.

So do I think ALL French are like this. NO. But here's something that makes us very different than those from other countries, mainly European countries. When people here in the U.S. start talking like this, just about everyone they know will tell them to cut it out. That there is no place for this kind of thought or behavior. It's not acceptable to justify this hate toward other people and to broad-brush citizens from one country because you don't agree with/like/approve of the politics of that country. Even to the detriment of when, in my opinion, we should be calling out some cultures for their collective bad behavior toward human-kind. But that same thing is what I love most about being an American. We ARE a kinder more socially thoughtful group of people. This would not be tolerated here. And that IS what makes us better.

Well that poster got worse. Since we were asked to respond to people off list with disagreements initially I tried to appeal to this person one on one just human to human, explaining how hurtful the words were and why. Well last night I got an email telling me this: "If you mail me again I will take the right to do with your message what I like, and I will post it in a place used by spammers to gather e-mail addresses, meaning you will get flooded with spam from now on. I want nothing from you, I clearly asked you to stay out of my mailbox, you dumb ignorant cow!"

Now please don't go writing on here or to me directly that I said this or that nationality isn't good, as good as, or isn't similar to how I feel Americans are in this respect. That would just be incorrect.

So in response to the tone on this group, I first forwarded the emails to the group leader. I haven't heard back yet, but in fairness I only did that this morning. I also started my own group and hope it is a safe place to explore options for our FIV+ cats.

And last but not least, I have this blog. And if forced to I will use it for evil as much as the good I always try to do. If I start to get spam I will post that persons full name and email address right here for everyone to see. And then YOU can all go for it! BRUHAAAAAAAAAAH!

To end this post I want to tell you a little about what I was taught as a child. I grew up in NJ and sometimes we would be taken on field trips. The teachers always always stressed that we were to be on our best behavior because we represented NJ and our town and that how we behaved would give the impression to those we were visiting what it was like and we had to make a good impression that we were well-behaved nice people.

Whether we like it or not, and often many people forget that we as individuals represent our countries and ethnicities etc...when we are in public. People will, rightly or wrongly, associate our personal behavior with our larger group we come from. So when you are on a yahoo list or just me blogging about being a Jew, we/I are setting a tone and impression for that group we belong to at large.

Sadly much more than once I have been left with the impression that the French and many Europeans as well, are very biogeted and rude by the way they will immediately attack another about their country and then continue on with personal attacks like being called mentally ill, an idiot etc...when there is an opposing thought or opinion.

That is the biggest difference between Americans collectively and the rest.

UPDATE: After forwarding the hateful threats to the moderator I got this:
"You are the one who dragged nationality in this. Now you are the one going on and on and on about it, in the forum, and in private mail. You can't do that. The forum is about cats, not about people let alone nationalities. And be prepared for other people telling you what they think of you, after you start telling people what you think of them.I am putting both moderators in the cc of this message. You try to make it look that I am bothering you in e-mail, but that is not the case. You e-mail me with nasty language and I reply to that, asking you to stay out of my mailbox. What you did in the forum; posting part of my mail there, and putting yourself down as a victim, is sick and evil. It seems you're out for a flame instead of wanting to help your cats.Again, FOR THE THIRD TIME, stay out of my private mailbox. If you mail me again, that will be unsolicited mail, and that is against the Yahoo Terms Of Service. And I will report it to Yahoo.I can communicate with you on-topic in the forum if it can help your cats, but apart from that, I think you are evil, nasty and mentally ill, so I want nothing to do with YOU."

SICK SICK PERSON!