Before I sit down to write my promised blog post on race as I see it, I wanted to give you a little about me. If you're new here and haven't read the top part of this page, you should know that I am Jewish.
I used to have more liberal thoughts on dating and felt very strongly for most of my younger life that it didn't matter what religion or race/color someone was, that people were people and you love who you love. OK it is true you love you love who you love but here's my experience that has changed me and made me the person I am today.
I loved with every fiber of my being a Mexican man. Loved him more than I could ever imagine I could ever love another human being. In fact that relationship taught me what love feels like to me, real love. I thought I loved others before and I probably did. But this man I loved unconditionally. And for those of you who knew me when, you really know that sentence is true.
I have always prided myself on being the kind of person who lived her morals and values and was pretty relentless in that, watching others talk bullshit but never live the talk.
And so I ended up knowing him through a very interesting channel and falling madly deeply in love. I never thought of him as My Mexican. Here's the thing most of you really do not get. You are probably insulted by that last sentence but it is the truth and so it stands. To him I was his Jew and the Gringa. And he wasn't the only one either.
I really think this is lost on most younger Americans and possible many Canadians too as our cultures are very similar. We're very idealistic and we think everything revolves around us and how we think life should be. And most of us really have no clue how the rest of the world truly lives. I don't mean visiting another place and eating their food and touring around. I mean immersing ourselves into other cultures, sort of hiding into the background and really listening to them when they think we aren't listening. Because the truth is most other cultures have big issues with being polite, which many of us in our culture would label as lying.
Quick example into the Mexican and South American Culture. Many people from those places will say yes to a request of yours because it would be impolite to say no and they feel very obligated. Someone who grew up in the same country would never even ask what we would see as no big deal to ask, never getting into this position. The fallout is that either that person never shows up to the said event or place and later you hear such apologes about why they couldn't get there, when they never had any intent to go in the first place or the person is quite resentful and you can tell with how they treat you during that time. I have experienced this many many times and it bothered me so much because I didn't realize this was what was happening. It had to be pointed out to me.
Now this is not a judgement, it is just something that is. Once you understand it you can decide to accept or not but you know how to behave with people from those other cultures and it makes your own life much happier. I can tell you for me, this was hard because in this country it is a huge value to be a strong woman and feel and act empowered. It's such a big part of who I am. So to ask for something is so natural to me, but to someone outside of this country while I was getting the polite answer, the action didn't match and it infuriated me. I didn't understand. It just wasn't viewed in the same way. We weren't "playing the same game."
So back to the original point. We have a very idealistic way of looking at life, especially our youth. Me included in that, at least for most of my life.
But in spending so much time with The Plant (the Mexican I loved) I got a very private glimpse into a world most of you will never truly see. It bothered me to no end to hear myself be refered to as the Gringa while he took calls from fellow Mexicans including his good friends back home. No amount of explaining or being upset was going to change this either. It bothered me that when describing others he would refer to them as the French girl, the black guy etc...And I know I was la Judea.
Before you write to me that that is only one person...which is the typical liberal response, which I could in and of itself blast into smithereens as it really is such an empty response, I will tell you he wasn't the only Mexican I ever had a relationship with nor the only man from a Spanish speaking culture I ever dated. I have a history of dating hispanic men not from my country. And I'll divulge now, which will probably shock you later when I write about race etc... that a couple have even been here illegally. Each and every time I experienced the same thing with regard to being La Judea and listening to how they spoke about other people. These cultures think nothing of it and they cannot understand why we get ourselves in such a twist about this stuff.
So you see it really is only in this country that I am even considered White. Which the correct term is caucasion. Which is why I say race/color. And so for future posts you'll understand when I purposely write the word color, you'll understand rather than attack. Because mostly, our anger at all these supposed racists statements really come from lack of understanding and our own ignornance which make us project onto others our anger, where we start to call people racist when in fact what is being said, or the action we witness truly had nothing to do with race at all.
As a Jew I have the unique ability to blend in and hear truly racists anti-semetic rants. It's usually a shock to the offending person to know he was just caught. I have had people tell me I am going to hell, and people in my own neighborhood where I live today rant about the cheap jews this or that, and this is a neighborhood with many observant Jews. Let's just say I have heard many a thing because people think I am Italian and not Jewish. And you see right there, that tells it all.
Why am I telling you this? I am telling you this because when I do finally find my way to writing that piece on race, which is going to take me some time, I want you to , or at least hope that you realize that although you might be reading things that you find shocking or just didn't expect to read from me, you realize I am no Jesse Helmes or for that matter no Sharpton, who I feel is extremely divisive and a true racist.
Here's a video that I think touches on the many points I just made in my post today. I ask that you watch the following video with an open mind and a new eye. Leave your personal knee jerk reactions behind. Watch it full through. LISTEN to what the company's CEO says about his company and adverstising.