"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Frienship Email From Mom

None of that Sissy Crap

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad --I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you're scared -- we will high tail it out of here.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick --Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I'll pick you up and dust you off.
9. This is my oath...I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask -- because you are my FRIEND!

Friendship is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.


Sandi said...

I love it! Friendship is not about glossing over everything. It's about being real and slapping us up side the head when we need it (metaphorically speaking, of course). Thanks for sharing.

Da Old Man said...

That made me lol. Thanks.

Lauren said...

Sandi, Metaphorically BUT OF COURSE! Unless it's your sibling, then pummel them. HAHA!

D.O.M., Glad I could finally give you something to giggle about!

BTW my word verification is:
TOO FUNNY! y kiss/hug Jew.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

10. When the chips are down, I will put them back in the pantry after eating most of them :-)

Lauren said...

Speed, LOL!

leezee52 said...

Love it!

Chat Blanc said...

I especially like #6 When you are confused -- I will use little words.

I need that frequently! :)

Lauren said...

Lee, me too and even funnier that mom sent it to me.

Chatty, HA!

Gypsy said...

Now this is a lot more like it. This is a friendship I can handle, not all the hearts and flowers.

Lauren said...

Gypsy, Ah! Silly girl. You're so funny!