LMAO!!! I Got An Email Too!!

The synchronicity is unbelievable. I was laughing my ass off reading this today. Hope you will too!

I signed into a special yahoo email account I use when I want to contact men from Jdate who request to email me off site. I wanted to send email to a fellow I have plans to meet up with today and to my surprise I found an email from my most recent Jdate experience, Jason, waiting for me. Like Barbara I had already realized that there was no chemistry and frankly I found this man rude and crude. And to be honest I had forgotten all about him, including his name until I found the email this morning.

Here's how that date went from my perspective:

The initial meet and greet -- WOW he is nice looking, but looks totally Jewish (which I usually don't like.) And then he opened his mouth! My friend Amanda emailed me this when I told her about the date:
Reminds me of the Chris Rock joke: A woman has already decided whether she's going to sleep with you or not. All you have to do is KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!

We met at a restaurant near my home that happens to have betting available and there are little television screens at each table. I have met many a friend and date here and never has anyone been so interested in the television before. Therefore I didn't think I needed to pick another location just to ensure the attention of the date before me. It was a week ago yesterday that we met and apparently a Ranger's game was on. The screen was immediately turned to the game. I don't think we had been sitting for 1 minute before this happened.

Within five minutes he was answering his phone because it was a work call. And after this call he somehow thought it important to let me know FOR THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES, how important he was that he had no choice but to take that call. I found myself having to tell him I didn't want to continue that conversation, PLEASE!

Later on that date Jason started to ask me about what I do. Since I work in the health field as an advocate of sorts I mentioned things relating to that topic and about needing to be proactive when seeing a doctor. Jason let me know before the date he was recently diagnosed with some kind of pneumonia, which was not contagious, and so this topic was of course intriguing to him. Questions abounded and I happily participated in this conversation.

BUT THEN HE DID THE RAISED BY BABOONS THING! He started his sentence with, "I don't mean to be mean or hurtful..."

And he finished that sentence by saying, "You must be a doctor's worst nightmare! Have you ever been thrown out of a doctors office?"

OK now I need to back up a little and tell you that on some IM's we had before deciding to meet up (and we had a call as well) Jason told me about how his last girlfriend told him that he often said things that are innapropriate and he knows he has a problem with doing this.

So Jason and all the Jason clones out there I ask ya dudes, if you have been alerted to a behavior that isn't nice and you know it isn't nice, you concur it isn't nice and you admit it is a problem, why oh why do you keep doing it???

Before I post the email I found in my box today here are a few clips from our IM that you should know about. And I should also tell you that I never felt the need to save an IM exchange before this one. At the end of the IM he sent his cell phone number to me and in the interest of being lazy I used the AIM function of saving the conversation so I could get the digits later and enter them into my phone. And now I also find it is useful for me to write this blog post too! :-)

Lauren: well I sent email to your aol and yahoo but haven't heard a peep so I thought let me check one more time with IM

Jason: my ex and I had problems because I wasn't as forthcoming with compliments as I should be... something I have to work on
she thought I was too critical
so we had one huge fight and things were never the same after that
two months later, it was over
I'm a misunderstood soul.. I guess I have diffiulty expressing myself properly
I guess it sounds different in my head and comes out completely different than intended
I even admit that in my profile

Here's the email from Jason dated December 5:

Hey there!!! Sorry I never responded to your two e-mails.(written BEFORE we went out) I rarely check my Yahoo mail (and yet that is the account he gave me to write to) since I only use it as a back up (and for jokes). When you said you sent me e-mail, I never even thought to check my Yahoo account.(And yes.. I do have mail at AOL, not just IM.) Sorry for the confusion and not getting back to you.

I wanted to apologize for the interruption from my boss. After speaking with a few people over the past few days I figured out what the problem was: USER ERROR. Very typical problem in my profession but unfortunately I deal with many dim bulbs. To make it worse, people are afraid to speak in front of other people and I couldn't actually get the information I needed to help them.

And sorry for not e-mailing or calling sooner... I've been a bit overwhelmed the past few days in and out of the office.

I had a fun evening on Saturday and wanted to thank you for picking Austin's. I'm sorry if things were a bit uncomfortable at times and for allowing my mouth to keep running while the brain was playing catch up.I hope that you didn't walk home thinking to yourself, "I'm never going out on another JDate again." (YES JASON. You were my last ditch great hope for meeting my beshert. I give up because you represent all Jewish men so I will remain single, sexless and alone based on YOUR bad behavior on our date! GEEZE!) While I think you're a great person with a lot to offer, I just didn't get the sense that we'd be a great match. I think we could be friends and hang out (and you could probably teach me a thing or two) but we'd probably not be the best together for the long haul. (At least he got this part correct and didn't pull a Marc, gotta give him that!)

If you'd like to get together again as friends, that would be great but I'd understand if that's not what you're looking for.

Happy hanukah!!Jason

Now I must admit I was a bit of a wuss and acting slightly like a male would when I ended the date saying I hadn't made up my mind, rather than just saying goodnight. BUT he stood there with the car door open thinking I would get in so he could drive me home. And when I told him no thanks I can walk home since I live so close, he just kind of stood there like a deer in headlights. So I said what I said. And walking home, which took all of five minutes, I yelled to the universe for putting another wad like that in my dating path. But after that five minutes I was done...until todays email.

As I end this post I will fill you in on the now non-date that was to happen with me today. I was set to have coffee with a fellow who contacted me on JDATE. After professing how he is very much not into games, and doesn't understand the women on JDATE who always seem to think there is someone better and he can't wait to get off JDATE, I sent an IM to him (as that is the only way I could contact him off site) to confirm our date. We were to meet in an hour and a half. I IM'D HIM!

He just wrote me back this: my family is at my mothers todays plans to meet you will have to change i hope some night this week

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????????????????????????

NEXT!

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