"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Monday, December 3, 2007

My November 11


I learned about this phenomenon days before I decided to break up with the last fellow, which you all know about so I won’t bore you with that any more. We had plans to get together on 11/11. I had already started to feel like something big was going to happen that day, but I was still at that moment unsure as to which path I should take. When I learned of 11/11 I realized I had to break it off, and that if something I wanted to happen would come out of my leaving so be it but that if the leaving was the big thing that needed to happen so be it too.

I had been living the 11:11 phenomenon for a long time but had no idea why. I see it often on the clock and also 9:11 and it was always strange to me. Why was I always looking just at that moment? So when I learned about the meaning only days before I was to meet with “that fellow” it struck me hard in the gut that this was going to be a defining moment for me, that my initial instincts were correct about that day being something of significance. The night before “the big day” I was given the following phrase to say by a guide through a dream, “I can’t do this anymore. You are not treating me right.” I had asked for help how to break it off without getting into too much, because the pattern had always been with this person to have so many details thrown at me, that I would become caught up in a right/wrong argument before I knew what was happening and of course because I couldn’t keep up with the thread, I would always be on the losing end of it. How was I to do this, say all that needed to be said and have it be without arguing? And the words were given to me as I asked. Another sign.

Now, of course all of you know it dragged out afterwards…as an empath I surely got sucked into the other person’s ego-filled hurt and anger, and it coupled with my own as well. I fully admit. Some of you know and some of you do not, that a few years ago I went to see John Edward, http://www.johnedward.net/ , for a private reading with one other friend. At the time I was still trying to get over the loss of a love. I was not tied to energy work at the time, so I didn’t know about this being possible then, but he told me that even though we were apart and not communicating, that each time he thinks of me I am thinking of him and I get sucked back in. And it made too much sense to me, just hearing those words. Because I had been working so hard to just forget, it seemed so overpowering, beyond my control that “he” would not leave my head, and then I realized that I was energetically connected to that person and he had not let go either and that for me to overcome this tie I had to make serious changes to be stronger than this pull.

In the end, I realize that I don't miss this latest person. What I do miss is the opportunity that was given to both of us, for something special and wonderful that we BOTH missed out on. I miss and grieve THAT enormously.

1 comment:

InRepose said...

I have known about the 11:11 for a long while. The first person who recognized it enough to talk about it out loud was my late brother Randy. He was killed in 1989. We talked about it a lot. We wondered about the LCD clocks and if that made a difference, but you still see the 11s around in other things like scores, printouts and the like.

The Kryon books also talk about the 11:11, you should look that up.

These days when I see 1:11 or 1:01 or whatever, but especially 11:11, I think about my brother, and I am almost sure, he is thinking about me at the exact same moment.