"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Saturday, December 8, 2007

The I Am Only Being Honest Man

I had my first blog email exchange with Barbara from Writing From The Inside Out. I happened upon her blog while searching for other dating and relationship blogs. What a fun experience!!! Thanks Barbara.

Over at her fun blog she tells her story of Marc whom she met while trying online dating.

I knew after our date that we mutually did not want to see each other again, it was pretty damn obvious. But he felt compelled to share this with me:

Hi Barbara,
I hope I don't hurt your feelings, but I am looking for a lady who is thinner.
Your personality is very nice and I am sure you will find someone that meets
your desires.
Good luck to you!

Where to begin the dissection of this email from Marc first?? Tsk Tsk!!!

OK Marc and all the Marc clones out there let me start by making it clear, because apparently you were raised by baboons and not human parents that understood their role to teach you about the value of kindness or compassion and the difference between right and wrong. If you don't want to hurt someone's feelings then don't! If you can even begin writing a sentence saying those words or you are even thinking those words just plain common sense (which you obviously don't have) should tell you that what you are about to say is not nice and won't be received well.

Next, to all those reading this blog post, can you say NARCISSIST?

nar·cis·sism [nahr-suh-siz-em] 1.inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.
2.Psychoanalysis. erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development.
Also, nar·cism
[nahr-siz-uhm] [Origin: 1815–25; <>narcissus, -ism] —Related forms nar·cis·sist, narcist, noun nar·cis·sis·tic, nar·cis·tic, adjective
—Synonyms 1. self-centeredness, smugness, egocentrism.

You see, only in Marc's tiny pea brain head does the world exist where he writes Barbara for Barbara's sake. In Marc's little made up fantasy world he is doing this to be nice and kind and to let her know he won't be calling again so she won't pine away for him wondering why he didn't call her for a second date. She couldn't possibly have discerned this non-connection on her own because after all she is a fat girl, right? And he has heard all of our complaints about the men who never call again syndrome and he believes he is showing us he is not one of those men. He is being nice to fat girls unlike THOSE men, although he doesn't want to date us! He is correct, he is not one of THOSE men. He is the narcissist who is going to be honest with us because he was taught to always be honest.

Hey Marc and all you Marc clones out there: get a clue! The idea of being honest doesn't apply to your pathetic opinions. The world is not designed based on them. Being honest means not lying, stealing, cheating... it doesn't mean doing those things and then confessing to us when we have caught you red handed, how you didn't want to tell us because "I honestly knew it would hurt you to know what I was doing" or writing self-centered emails to us letting us down in the spirit of being honest.

HEY MARC! Fat girl doesn't equal stupid girl. You wrote that email in the pathetically infantile manner to somehow allieviate any guilt you had in being an A-1 first class jack-off pathetic excuse of a man...but at least you didn't just not call or write and that somehow makes you feel better than those men who we never hear from again.

So to all the men out there who feel compelled to write to us to break up, or just not have another date, if you must do it via email here is a form email you can use:

I enjoyed meeting you the other day. Thank you for such a positive online dating experience. Even though both of us did not feel that click we had hoped for I wanted to write to you to wish you well on your search.


Barbara (aka Layla) said...

You rock. I linked to this post today. I am sooo tempted to mail it to Marc but he'd probably just chalk it up to me be a scorned chubby chick trying to get back at him. HIS LOSS!

Anonymous said...

Just visited from Barbara's blog. Loved this post and you are dead on. Barbara is too nice to tell him what he really needs to hear and after all he is probably to stupid to understand anyway.

Anonymous said...

Awesome post! I'm a friend of Barbara's. Though I am a lifetime member of the gender which suffers from cognitive impairment due to chronic testosterone poisoning, even I know that Marc's note clearly indicates that he suffers from a severe cranial-rectal inversion.

Lauren said...

Thanks for coming and reading the post about The I Am Only Being Honest Man. Barbara is a wonderful woman who can surely do better.

G- I asked a good male friend of mine to write some posts from the married male perspective. Maybe with more respectful men like the two of you marking the blogosphere, attitudes will change?

Rygel said...


Larry said...

The question is... why does this kind of thing happen so often? What happened to real interpersonal skills? Seems pretty basic to me, but so few men seem to get it that I really don't like being around them... and I am one. Sigh.