Men Looking At Pretty Women Is Like Cocaine To Rats

I'm giving you some Dave Barry today. I write a mixed bag blog and I am mixin' it up! Time to laugh AT THE EXPENSE OF MEN! HAHAHA!

According to a study that I am not making up, conducted by researchers at Massachusetts General Hospital, is that looking at attractive women - prepare for a shocking finding - gives men pleasure.

Yes. According to news reports, the researchers had a group of young men look at photos of people of various degrees of attractiveness. The study showed that, when the men saw a photo of a beautiful woman, their pecans burst into flames, if you get my drift. If the men wanted to keep looking at a photo of an attractive woman, they had to keep pressing a key; one researcher said that some men pressed the key 6,000 times in 40 minutes, which is "as much as a rat presses for cocaine."

The researchers concluded that looking at attractive women stimulates "reward centers" of the men's brains that are "considered to be evolutionary holdovers from reptiles."

That sounds right to me. I live in South Florida, which is Lizard Central. There are thousands of lizards in my yard alone, and as far as I can tell, the males do virtually nothing, all day long, except stare at the females.

But the point is that, thanks to this breakthrough research, we can draw some important conclusions:

1. If a man is with, let's say, his wife, and he sees an attractive woman, and his eyeballs go shooting SPROING out of their sockets and dangle from their optic fibers around his knees, this is NOT HIS FAULT, because he is under the control of his primitive reptile brain, and his wife should not get angry at him, even if it happens to be their wedding reception.

2. We now know what part of the brain causes men to believe that women will be attracted to them if they have a big red Corvette.

3. Let the rats get their own darned cocaine.