"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Speed Date Or Speed Hate

I went to speed dating last night. It was sponsored by a meetup.com group I signed up for. I went to another one of their events recently and found them honest and candid. Figured for $30 why not?

But I have to wonder if this is speed dating or speed hating. I am really not trying to be cynical. But it seems to me that the women are pretty darn open-minded about this and the men are very closed off.

There were a few gentlemen there that seemed relaxed and open to meeting some nice women. Unfortunately I didn't feel they were right for me. But more often than not the guys sitting in front of me and the rest of the women were a bundle of nerves full of disqualifyers.

It may not be their intent but it seems to me that there is a air of 'if she says this or does that I know exactly the kind of person she is and she won't let me do this or this...so no go'.

So while I start out the evening with an open mind, rather quickly I sink to the feeling of "are we having fun yet?" And funny enough I got this type of question presented to me as well, but each time I chose to say it to the next fellow I got the same response. One of which was as if they were telling me to relax and not appear desperate. I think what bothers me the most is that they think they have me (and the rest of the women) wrapped up. I wanted to smack the crap out of the ones with this attitude, when I simply said a very nonchelant remark about the way this night was going.

Here's one of the reasons for the "are we having fun yet?" type of remark:
The second fellow I met told me, with crossed arms, that he only came because the owner of the company asked him since there weren't enough men signed up.


I only checked off yes to 3 guys. One I checked yes to but felt I should not and he didn't check yes to me. The other two also checked yes and we shall see. I think one of the two yes guys was also there as a favor to one of the organizers and was a plant, to be charming and make the women feel it was worth it to show up. So I take no stock in receiving an email from him. He was charming and fun for 8 minutes. Those eight minutes were fun.

I made a friendly bet with a (male) friend from work that he won't call. I have a whole quarter riding on that. I will probably win this 25 cents when I arrive back to work on Monday morning. :-(

The other gentleman is from Columbia. Weak spot of mine...Hispanic men. Truth is I am looking for the right man for me but there has to be a happy middle until he comes along. Maybe this guy can be a source of fun for a while. Who knows?

I am having drinks with "P" tomorrow night. I get the feeling he is incredibly sweet, but probably not right for me.

What do you think about Speed Dating? Dating or hating?


Barbara(aka Layla) said...

I have to think about this...I have some thoughts but have to process :)

Julie said...

Thankfully, I have no need to speed date. That said, if I was single, I would probably give it a shot.

Lauren said...

Barbara, OK ready when you are. GO!

Julie, You are so lucky. Both guys did contact me. But the one I gave my tel. to emailed me instead. Asked me if I wanted to "Seinfeld it" sometimes. I had to call a friend of mine to get the translation. OY!