I found what they shared online interesting. And funny enough I learned a new phrase that basically was what happened to me with DTM. The more I continue to delve into the ins and outs of dating with the informal workshops and talks I have been going to, and now reading about this episode, the more I realize just how damn naive I have been.
DTM was part of what these guys term a "seduction community". Beware readers...they will call it a place for communication games. Some as in the case with my Ex's group will pretend there is a spiritualness to what they are teaching you as well. They will never admit that what they are really doing is teaching you how to seduce for seducing sake only.
There's two parts to this episode. The second part features only one guy and he talks about the more seductionish methods he teaches. He explains, "One of the things they rely on doing is flipping women back and forth between feeling like they’re being approved of and feeling like they’re being criticized. They do something called push-pull, where they’ll give the women a little attention, and then they’ll pull it away, so she doubts whether they’re attracted to her or not. They use a lot of invalidation, the theory being that if you invalidate a woman, she’ll have sex with you to prove her attractiveness.” He adds that they use canned routines, and when they ask for a woman's opinion, they really don’t care. "There's a lot of deception."
And in a nutshell...that is EXACTLY what happened to me all those months ago...which was the catalyst for me to start to blog. I was so incredibly confused and humiliated and I just didn't have the words or understanding for what I had just experienced.
Does knowing all this change anything for me at this point? Not really. I have gone through many stages of healing over this experience and I hope I am pretty much done. But there might be others living this or at their confused stage. I hope this information helps those women reading this now.
Personally, from what I read on Dr. Phil's site about his latest show, I don't think the intent of what this first group is doing is evil or malicious. In fact it sounds to me much like what I am trying to learn for myself so that I truly do communicate better with men.
I think it is all about intent. What do you think?
Here's Barbara's thoughts on this subject.