"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Severe Risk

Well just put me in the red section: Severe Risk.

I'm barely proceeding with Severe Risk. I went on a mini "date" with the 24-year old. It was a surprise to me.

It's a little hard to accurately describe the night because, well, he is so much younger than I am and he uses a lot of slang.

But being the mature, achem, woman that I am and the secure woman I am at my age I just told him to knock it off. He laughed.

We started the evening by going to Starbucks as I suggested we have coffee and talk after I finished working Tuesday night.

Now things didn't start off so well for this youngin' as he didn't even buy me my coffee. I thought to myself WTF is this?!?!?

But we sat down and I don't know what was more steaming, the coffee or me about his lack of open wallet for a cheap cup of coffee.

But your girl Lauren is witty and took care of this when the moment presented itself.

So we were talking and he was telling me about his cats and how he takes care of them and loves them. He knows I have cats. He wanted to impress me. Those types of things I am pretty forgiving about with guys...let them ramble and give them slack. They're nervous and want to impress. No worries.

Then out of no where he goes from that subject to asking me, "Um, so , uh, when was the last date you were on?"

Insert record screech sound here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just looked straight at him and said, "WOW that was a huge jump in subject. Especially from a guy who didn't even buy me my coffee."

And if this guy's skin tone wasn't a really beautiful hispanic tan, you would have seen him turn a huge bright red. And he smiled. And he back peddled and I laughed my ass off.

He told me he wanted to take me to Juniors but I suggested Starbucks and and and...well he knew he screwed up. So he started saying things about next time...

Here's clue number 2 that this guy is full of shit...BACK PEDDLING when confronted with information a woman is giving him...changing his story. SCREEEEEEETCH!

Skip forward...I was pretty clear about my conservative views and I told him that I'm confortable with who I am and my views and it's not going to change.

So past all that stuff...here are a few funnier highlights of the things that came out of his mouth...well meaning of course:

"You look good for your age."
"The age difference doesn't bother me." (Sure little tyke!)

"My friend went out with an older woman and he told me how great it was because he learned so much from her."

"My grandfather is 77."
"My mother is 41." (she had him at 16) YIKES!

OK after that last one I put my head in my hands and just started to laugh. I am 13 years older than this guy and only 4 years younger than his mother. OK OK, she had him very young...a baby herself but still. OMG!

Now you know you're in trouble when you've written a blog post and edited it at least three times in only four days about ONE DATE. At first he seemed like a very sweet young man. But the more I think about his words and actions I realize that he's hiding something and that something can't be good.

I told him that I am not looking to be someone's teacher or mother, but to be equals and enjoy my time with the other person.

So how did that night end?

He walked me to the subway and talked with me a little bit before I left to go home. He asked me out for Valentine's Day and I said yes. He reached in to kiss me goodnight and I gave him my cheek but he snuck a kiss right on my lips before I could say yes or no.

Have you ever spent time with someone and heard things that didn't quite sit right with you but weren't horrible offenses? And after some days, you've had time to sift through those things and realize that something is just slightly off? Well that is where I stand with this particular person.

There's been way too much texting...no phone calls and I caught the bastard sending texts to me that he surely meant to send to another girl. I sent him a reply late last night as that's when this baby sends most of his texts to me. Here's what it said, "Ooooops. Wrong girl. BUSTED!"

I removed his number from my phone and I'm ignoring his texts. Maybe he'll get a clue.??


lot 2 learn said...

I loved reading your date story. I have to say that the impression I have of him, he will not get why you are ignoring his calls and texts. you know how slow us guys are

Lauren said...

@lot2learn- ironic your sigi and your message. TEEHEE! ;)

Babs (Beetle) said...

Well, it's all part of life's tapestry, as they say. I suppose it beat drinking coffee on your own :O)

Da Old Man said...

He'll be clueless. Rob hit it right.

swile67 said...

A friend of mine years ago gave me some great advice about men. She said you need to learn the 4 important words, "men don't get hints!!" :) For us it is a great date story..thanks for sharing...was he a good kisser at least? heheheh!!:)

Chat Blanc said...

little tyke!! bwahahaha! loves it! :) I gotta say, you are awesome for at least getting to know the guy a bit. Even if he is a loo-za (and I do think you should listen to your intuition about that) you have another live and learn experience under your belt to help you find what you really want. You go girl! woot! :D

Romany Angel said...

I'm all for younger men I have to say. Most of my relationships have been with men who were younger and they were great but yes, sometimes you feel like a teacher with a student.

Sorry it didn't go so well Lauren but every mistake is one step closer to the real deal. Trust me.

CastoCreations said...

Oh man ... what a boondoggle. I think the age difference probably wouldn't matter if he were intellectually matched ... but it doesn't sound like he is at all. I don't think there are many guys who are more mature than their years. That's usually the women.

He sounds like a punk. :) But it provides great blog material!