First I'm going to quantify what is coming below. I've had some really outrageous things said to me through IM's and emails and even in person while attempting to date through my online profile. And while I hear about success stories from others who have friends who have done well, it's not been my experience. Yes yes yes I'm digging deeper to figure out why but with that said here's what I wish I could write in my bio profile:
Let's face it. I'm hot. You know it and that's why you clicked on my photo. So before you email me some sexual innuendo or try to be coy with me through a few normal IM exchanges and then go for the gusto, stop and think about it. I'm a hot chick. So what makes you think that I'm so desperate that I'd go for the lowest on the totem pole and go out with you, who only seem to make a play for me in a sexual way? Heck if I wanted that I could walk up and down my street where I live and pick an equally hot man and F&ck his brains out. You see boys/men I'm cashing in on my hot value and being the picky biotch I deserve to be. You're gonna have to be of the best character, the kindest heart, put up with my lunatic political rants and challenge my mind. I'm not looking for a mind-f*ck or a quick lay. For that you'd better find a fat chick with low self-esteem. But I'm not JUST a hot chick. I'm an analytical thinker. I'm logical. And while you might be able to slip a few details past me that I choose not to remember, I'll catch you in your shi*t faster than you can say SHUT THE F*CK UP! So you wanna get into these pair of jeans, you're gonna have to earn it, deserve it and work for it. And it's gonna have to be more than the sex you're trying to earn from me.