"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Friday, March 27, 2009

Maybe there's a whole generation of men who have a genetic disorder causing doucheness??

This story has two parts. Part one: dating advice girl who finds me on Twitter and Part Two: Single Guy who finds me on Twitter.

Note: I found no one. They found and followed me. I decided to follow back.

And I am writing this in the spirit of Dani's Fuck fest...so watch out...

I had been tweeting about some weird exchanged from my recent Jdate account I bought for 3 months. You can purchase 1 month, 3, 6 months worth of access. My threshold of humiliation is 3 months.

I'm honestly baffled as to why some men even attempt to date. It seems like bizarre behavior to me to join a dating site and then email some woman only to tell her that he sees no point in her request to email off the site a few times before moving to the phone.

Yes you read that correctly. I was approached for communication and when I gave an email account so we could COMMUNICATE outside of the site and see if we had anything in common that would help make a phone conversation more comfortable that is what I was told.

I was also asked for my number rather than emailing with another fellow. Although I felt uncomfortable doing this, simply because we never exchanged any thoughts between us and I thought what the fuck will we even have to talk about so soon, I gave my number. Guy never called me!

So what the fuck is going on with the guys on JDATE or Jdate itself or the single men left out there. Because you can't blame me when I didn't even have a chance to fuck up on my own.

So I tweeted about these things. I did it in a light non angry way...unlike today's post. And this woman on Twitter who is trying to start a dating blog of her own must have searched and found me. She seemed nice enough although had to make a point to tell me she not only didn't like my political tweets (too fucking bad Obama bot bitch) but that she'd wish I'd tone that down.

CAN YOU SAY RUDE BITCH? I'm aware I just contradicted myself...yes I am!

Well she approaches me to write a new bio for my JDate profile, even though I had Chatty write one for me 'cause she's da bomb with PR ya know? And she tells me how basically the one I have sounds like a list for men (no it wasn't but whatever!) and that men hate lists. She proceeds to ask me questions and then sends me back a profile with my answers. So basically I wrote the profile and she tells me how she rewrote it for me. YEAH, RIGHT!

I thought about it for a day or two and figured it's worth a shot.

It bombed. It got less responses than the one Chatty wrote for me. Hmmm so much for dating woman guru's theory. When she asks me how it went I got a very odd exchange back from her.

I was told that she has a friend on JDate and that her profile wasn't doing so well either and that that site is pretty much dead and I should try jpeoplemeet...and here's the clincher...because I had asked her a question about a strange exchange I had with this guy I was supposed to be on a date with as I sit here and write this post, she told me how she thinks I am looking for reasons not to like someone and to consider if I am ready for intimacy.

HOLD THE FUCK OFF POP PSYCH DATING BITCH! Who the fuck do you think you are? Where is your degree? Where's YOUR MAN? Are you even in a long-term relationship or are you continuing to allow yourself to date losers who string you along and make up shit.

Maybe she should pick up the book: You're Just Not That Into Him Either. I know I did. Which is why I asked her if she thought it was odd the way this guy answered the phone when I called him as soon as I knew I had to change our plans for earlier in the week, which BTW asshole is what you do when you cannot attend...you call immediately because THAT is what good person does. How did he answer the phone? I kid you not he said "Who is this?"

My simple act of seeking advice from the dating blog girl was deemed negative and looking for a reason not to like him and avoid intimacy. But she hopes I will not be offended by her telling me.

So I wrote that I wasn't offended. and the following:

I'm not offended I just do not agree. I think that when you have a conversation with a man and you are laughing and he's not ...the chemistry is off. I think when you call a man and he answers the phone in an odd way it's him.

I've done a lot of work before I put myself back out there. I'm not the one who is afraid. Sadly the ones left in my age range are the odd balls and the ones that aren't are needles in a haystack. I'm not willing to settle for a guy who has lack of respect for me, or behaves oddly and innapropriately. And I am not about to take the pop psych approach that it's somehow me trying to avoid intimacy. That's crap ....as far as I am concerned. It may apply to others but not me.

I told you the things i did because they are coming up. I wouldn't go to a dating person such as yourself with good stories because I wouldn't need your advice when it's going well now would I? Hope you will take my reply in the spirit in which is was written and not take offense to it.

Guess what folks? She wrote me that we have different view points and obviously she can't help me.

I wrote her that she goes to extremes. That sometimes I will agree with her and other times I won't and I guess she has issues to work out too.

Some people are only ok when they are doling out their bullshit advice. They are so needy that they have to find people that don't have the balls to feel good enough about themselves that they will let another direct them and mold them simply because that other person needs to be needed so damn much.

Well, she couldn't handle hearing my pop psych assesment of her and we parted our ways. HYPOCRITE!


Mum-me said...

While I don't like reading f**k and s**t, I have to admit that you certainly got your point across. (And I know I can just click out if I am offended, but your writing was compelling. I had to finish.)

I hope you can find the right man for you. It's a shame these dating sites seem to be only dishing up what seems to be the leftovers.

musing said...

Wow, that sucks. Up till now I've avoided joining any dating sites and I think I'll keep it that way!

Lauren said...

Mum-Me- I know my cursing isn't for everyone. Sometimes my posts will have them and other times they won't. It really depends on my mood. I use the blot to get it out, ya know? Hopefully you can hang in there with me. Part II is tomorrow :0

Musings- I suspect and have has some other twitter exchanges that lead me to believe most of these sites are fake profiles or run not by the person looking but by someone doing the work for them. This has gotten very out of hand, to treat meeting someone to share a life with in this way.

Ronda's Rants said...

As you can imagine...I have little to no knowledge of dating sites but I am sorry...the behavior does seem counter productive!
Lauren...you have so much to give...he his out there...apparently taking his sweet time but I know he's out there! But...your guy wouldn't appreciate me for his Mother-in-law...as I am one of those Obama bot Bitch...cracked me up! You really do hate us don't you sweetie? :)

Lauren said...

Rhonda I do not hate you. I just think you are bots! :)

LadyBanana said...

Phew, just happy I am not in the dating game!

Lauren said...

@ladybanana- I'm not so sure I am either LOL

tiffany1377 said...

She sounds like a real winner. I'm glad you told her how it is!