Yahoo has an interesting link to an article about affair-proofing your marriage.
Normally I open these articles and it is full of fluff and junk and what I feel is obvious. Then I think "SHIT I could have written that and made a nice buck!"
Today however I actually thought this writer made some good points and explained her points WELL.
Out of the 8 the one that really popped out at me was the following:
2. Recognize the Drug: Depressives and addicts are especially prone to affairs because of the head rush that comes with infatuation. The spikes in dopamine and norepinephrine we experience upon connecting with someone new fools us into thinking that the sexy man or attractive woman at the bar holds the key to our nirvana and the end to our problems. This is the same as, say, the high from cocaine. Recognizing that that rush is not real, meaningful, or lasting, can help a married person to "just say no."
From experience as a single past mid-thirtysomething, THIS is the biggest problem out there when trying to date.
It seems to me that the ones that realize her number 2 are the ones coupled up or married and most of the ones left are chasing this high, addicted to it and unfortunately leave nice women like myself in a statistical position of being involved with way more men who put us in this position than we'd like and feeling for far too long, mistreated and hurt.
And this leaves the brain stressed.
The more stress we experience around these situations the harder it is for OUR brains to get away from the thoughts around it, expecting it again and it becomes a cyclical pattern, even if only in our minds, replaying the horrible feelings.
A recent Harvard study in pregnant women experiencing high levels of stress showed that the babies of these women had higher levels of immunoglobulin E or IgE — an immune system compound. "This further supports the notion that stress can be thought of as a social pollutant that, when 'breathed' into the body, may influence the body's immune response," Wright (Harvard researcher) said in a statement. They found children who had undergone maltreatment — such as maternal rejection, harsh discipline and sexual abuse — had twice the levels of inflammation in their blood even 20 years later.
The average 30-40 something single has been dating for 15-20 years. If a single person keeps experiencing such behavior and treatment over a prolonged period of time, hence at least one of the reasons why they have chosen to stay single rather than marrying someone with that behavior toward them, it can be easily concluded that their blood levels have higher immunoglobulin E too.
And perhaps that chemical level causes many to chase that high to feel better.
Well those are just my thoughts. Now I'd like to read yours.