Just about a year ago today I was just meeting DTM. If you've read me since the begining, you know that the confusion from being in a dating situation with him was the catapult to starting this blog.
What a difference a year makes. I have met so many amazing blog friends who allowed me to share my life and thoughts with them and it has made a world of difference for me.
This time last year I was packing my boxes and moving to my new apartment. I had just started exchanging emails with DTM and feeling very pressured to set a date to meet even though I mentioned numerous times how I needed things to calm down for me and get settled in first.
I've never shared DTM's full name before but I will tell you that I finally began one email to him the following way:
He wasn't very happy about that.
It had been quite a while since I went on a date. After a very defeating end to a relationship about five years ago and then two years after that I broke-up with another guy that just wasn't doing it for me I took a hiatus.
Rusty at dating was I!
I never even intended for me to ever meet DTM. I met him through Friendster and sent a smile. Before that I never even used a social site...at least that I can remember. When he emailed me back and asked to email through yahoo accounts rather than Friendster I just went with it.
I was baraged with emails from him. He sent me photos of him from HS, as a little boy, etc...it seemed fun enough. But pushy. And then he started pushing for a call. And I just didn't have the energy or time. But I relented and gave him my number stating it was for after I moved and please don't call before.
HA! RIGHT! I immediately got a text. I never texted people at that time.
He "just wanted to check that the number was right."
So then I agreed to one call. He was so boring BUT the emails were mostly fun. So in the interest of being nice I tried REALLY hard to fill the air with conversation. I didn't want to hurt his feelings.
What did I get instead? An abrupt, gotta go. I had just made a statement. Albeit boring one. I wasn't getting much help with the conversation. But I was trying to be nice.
I felt that hit in the pit of my stomach like nothing ever before. It literally felt like someone smacked me.
I should have listened to that gut reaction, let the conversation end and never spoken to him again.
BUT I felt stupid. His blunt and abrupt end to our call made me feel stupid. I said something like, "Oh, you don't want to talk anymore?" And he said, "Well I just thought we were done."
There was no, "Well it's late...or it was nice talking to you" it was just "ok well good night."
It was ODD!
I hung up. And for the life of me I don't know why I did it but I texted him that we should meet up sooner rather than later. And I got a text back that said, "now you're talking" or something like that.
Well we met and he charmed me and lied to me and he got what he wanted.
6 weeks later I was breaking it off with him in his home telling him about all the lies I found out about and how I was not interested in pursuing this anymore.
I learned a lot this past year. I learned so much about myself and I gained so much self-esteem. And a lot of it has to do with you, who come and comment each day.
This time last year I didn't have the self-esteem to just be me. I bent to the will of another. I doubt another DTM could come along and do the same thing he did to me. This time I wouldn't try to stretch the phone call to be nice. I would politely end the conversation and go on my way.