"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Friday, July 31, 2009

Landing On My Feet ...& Dating Again

I had a lot of changes this week. I realized that my heart lies in what I had been doing for the last two years and that having my independence in my career was too important to me. I mutually ended a job situation but left with so much knowledge to bring to my own practice that I was grateful for the opportunity, even though it was a very stressful place to work.

I learned that I understand my own self-worth and that I no longer buy into other people's opinions of me.

I think we've all been there at one point or another in our lives, where someone who is the authority figure sits us down and says that they feel we are not cut out for whatever it is we are doing.

We can choose to buy into someone else's story, that comes from their own need to push people out in order to protect themselves or we can look inside and take inventory of what we have accomplished and say to hell with that person and continue to build our dream.

I'm back to building my dream.

Before I decided to take this last job I was already building my own business. I had established my very good reputation. And I'm right back there today with MORE skills and knowledge to offer my clients.

In truth, I had serious reservations about working for this person but I couldn't justify it until I worked for them. And I know we've all been in that spot before.

I'm not the kind of person that finds solice in learning the steps and following by rote. I'm a creative thinker. And now I'm back where I can be myself.

Peace.

I went out on a date with a guy I'd like to have a second date with. What I like best about this man is our conversations. They just flow, as if we've been friends forever. I'm looking at my dating choices in a whole new way.

I used to go out with very charming men. But charm is often a mask for something else and often it is not the person we think we are dating, in the end.

This guy seems sweet and kind. Charming he is not. He's funny and open.

A wise woman told me this week that you can work out and around the minor things but you can't make acceptions for those who aren't sweet and kind.

So I'm giving this short, slightly overweight guy a shot because he seems to have a good caring heart and I feel he would treat me well.

What I don't care for so far is the insecurity of this guy that I see. But you all know how direct I am. :)

I sent a text a day after our first date just to say I had a nice time and appreciated the company.

Apparently that's a faux pas?? It was immediately received as if I was letting him down easy.

That pissed me off. Insecurity is just not attractive.

I picked up the phone and told him to knock it off, to not play this game with me to get my attention.

Look I understand this guy is short and stout. I'm sure he's faced a lot of rejection and it's colored him. However...

So I said what I had to. I didn't hold back. I was able to be myself.

Well, we'll all just have to stay tuned on this one.

14 comments:

Perplexio said...
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Lauren said...

@perplexio - shocked to see you around...isn't that a no no for you.

Jessica said...

Good things are ahead for you! :)

Perplexio said...
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Lauren said...

@Jessica - Your lips to god's ears.
@Perplexio - OKIE DOKIE. Say hello to Toni for me.

Perplexio said...
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Mum-me said...

Nice reading a bit about you. Sounds like you've made some decisions this week, and doesn't it feel good to actually make the decisions? (For me, at least, who can sometimes procrastinate too long.)

The guy sounds very nice, but go easy on him. He is probably thinking 'how did I ever get this gorgeous chick to go out with me' and 'I hope I don't stuff this up.'

Lauren said...

@Darren -Thanks for the "advice". Are you sure they haven't called you the king of obvious statements. ;p
@mum-me - You made me smile! Thanks. Yes, perhaps I am maturing in dating this man and realizing nice and sweet trumps hot and charming. Could be a nice change.

f1trey said...

The dating world it seems is littered with rules and expectations... wouldnt you rather be in love?

Lauren said...

@F1trey- if only it were that easy.

Update: I have a Saturday night date with this man again. Send me positive energy.

Da Old Man said...

Was there a second date?

Lady Banana said...

Changes afoot, sounds like this could be interesting :)

Perplexio said...
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Lauren said...

@Joe- tonight and I have to say right now, so tired and all, I can't decide which I want more, sleep or to get laid!
@Dianabanana - OH YEAH!
@Darren- LOL