"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Look, I'm Having A Bad Week!

Here's the deal peoples.........

I have a temper, I'm snarky and I'm opiniated... fuck off and get used to it.

I chatted a long time with a good blogger friend and I've really narrowed my frustration down. For me what it boils down to is respect or lack thereof.

I really am the kind of person who goes above and beyond for friends and family. No one has to ask me, I'll just do it.

Now many of my readers I think are the same way, which is why we bonded and why others have come and gone. I'm not going to mention the person but SHE knows who she is...for no reason went and did something really awesome for me. Didn't ask for didly in return. I know I can trust this person. I know her heart and soul is good. She didn't need to do what she did for me to know this...but it was just solidification.

On the other hand I have had far too many in my life whom I tried to forge friendships with. I've given free energy therapy sessions to them, their families...I've refused money, offered it on my time..given free classes. Now that's a business of mine, where I make some money, albeit not a lot and probably it's more a hobby to be honest...but still.

However when it came to be reciprical in nature if that at all, and rather something that might have even brought that same friend money by way of my posting an event on my blog, it was demanded of me that I not post my very own video of the night I spent out and I was accused of many things. Even so far as to contact youtube to have my own private videos I took myself, in a public place pulled down. Why? Because that person has a film production company and that person has a deal with youtube to film events and post for them and he felt I was somehow stealing from him.

What a crock of shit!

Forget, hey Lauren my cat is really sick...can you send healing energy please. Forget the free sessions I gave for hours in my home to said person's family.

Nope...it was all about this person, their company, their rights, even their lawyers words immediately IM'd to me.

I have to tell you all, that this type of situation handled in the rough manner that it was brought out the absolute worst in me. WORST.

I blog for fun. I haven't made a dime off my blog and never intended it for that purpose. I have a nice handful of subscribers and readers each day and that's about it folks.

Said person could not see the issue at hand...only had whatever was in their mind and always had something to say. NEVER listened. But then again that person NEVER listens to anyone. Is always ready for a quick retort. Never gives a rats as what anyone else has to say...that there might actually be some point there they never thought about that could make him stop and rethink whatever the issue is. NEVER. So why start now.

It's times like these that I go from zero -60 in 5 seconds flat. I just react...I show my temper, I get snarky and I tell the person to fuck off.

I don't think I honestly had a real friendship with this person to begin with. And as I read all of your blogs I see that many of you have a few close good friends and a ton of family you spend time with. And I understand why.

Your friendship online, blogging, has been so enourmous to me. I am ever so grateful. Because each of you have taken the time to know me, accept me and ask for nothing in return but friendship back.


LadyBanana said...

I hate it when things go like that. I had bad experiences in the past and now I do tend to keep people at arms length..

tiffany1377 said...

Let's just face it...there are alot of assholes out there. But there are good people too and they balance the bad. I've enjoyed getting to know you here and I hope that things get better! In the words of the happy bunny, "Mean people suck"

VE said...

Who are you? ...just kidding...

Everyone is in it for themselves by default. It's just that some can step beyond themselves as well and into the zone where real friendships are. Now...can I borrow a dollar? (kidding again...)

Babs (Beetle) said...

It's a sad fact that some friends are not always what or who we think they are, and that one day we will find this out to our cost.

We still keep on giving, because that's how we're made, and that usually means that we will get hurt again one day. I'd sooner put up with that hurt than become bitter and distant to people.

You just continue to be who you are. You will win out in the end because you know the truth that's inside you. We all need, and deserve unconditional love :O)

Lauren said...

@everyone...thank you. It just hit me hard. The lack of respect, the one-way street friendship and narcissistic mentality of the individual. What can I say? You have all been so supportive and great to me. Thank you.

Romany Angel said...

I can only imagine how disappointed you must feel. This kind of thing happens to me all the time but I won't change who I am because I may get treated like shit again and I sincerely hope that you never feel the need to change either. I totally agree with with Babs said. Lots of people love you Lauren, it's important to remember that.

Chat Blanc said...

the dude who was so shitty to you isn't worth your energy. he's abusive and you deserve so much more. friends are friends regardless if they are right next door or a million miles away and online. stay strong sista! you know you've got it goin' on!! :D