"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Moving To Mexico

Hat Tip @quirky1too MOVING TO MEXICO


Dear President Obama:

I'm planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.

We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico ,
and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.

We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas
and laws.

I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my way over?

Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether
I use them or not.

3. Please print all Mexican Government forms in English.

4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual)
teachers.

5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and
history.

6. I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at
their school.

7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast and lunch.


8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to
government services.

9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico , but I don't plan to purchase
car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my housetop, put U S. flag decals on my
car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints
or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have
any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.

13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice
and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might
place on their economy.

14. I want to receive free food stamps.

15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.

16. I'll need income tax credits so that although I don't pay Mexican taxes,
I'll receive money from the government.

17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Government pays $4,500.00 to help me buy a new car.

18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social
Securityprogram so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who walk over to the U.S. from Mexico . I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

Thank you so much for your kind help.
You're the man!!!

2 comments:

Mum-me said...

Oh this gave me a good giggle!

But seriously, I could just substitute "Mexico" with "Indonesia" and we're in the same boat you are. (Except our illegal immigrants can't just walk across the border. They have to sneak in on a boat. That's why we call them 'Boat People'.) And it makes me just as annoyed.

Francis R. Barbour said...

OMG, I got such a good laugh out of that posting.... You are my kinda woman: Educated, Intelligent, and Feisty. Bravo!