"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Friday, February 12, 2010

I Know It Doesn't Seem Like It But...

I am a hopeless romantic. Yes, it's true. I swear. It's probably where my "high expectations" come from. And why I just cannot fathom meeting another single man who's main goal seems to be to do and say whatever he can to avoid intimacy while playing "how much time will it take until I can remove her panties" with me.

And believe me, more often than not while sitting across from one of my many dates I've often thought how do I make him shut up  he's so dull and obvious that I should just do a Samantha on this guy and kick his ass to the curb.

But even that invites issues that I just don't want to spend the time on with a man that I have no further interest in. You see, as a little twitter spat I had this past week brought up, and the male spatter so easily proved my point for me, too many men have weak egos and in telling them what you do like, they instead hear that you are telling them they "did it wrong" and just cannot handle it. Which is why I explained to so many on twitter already that so many women just fake it and stroke mens egos instead.  

And clearly there's a HUGE money making market in vibrators simply because of the fragile male ego. Seriously men, you could totally collapse an entire industry if you'd drop the ego garbage! But I digress.

So sex 101 class starts here today on this post. Because it's too hysterical sad to know that men over the age of 30 still believe in half truths and myths about what stimulates a woman I realize that today here and now I have no choice but to start the debunking. 

Women all over will thank me and cheer. And I will have fulfilled some good karma! You're Welcome!

It was said by a grown man over the age of 30 just this week that he: knows when he's found a woman's g-spot because it's obvious when she squirts.

Where to begin on this one?

Big deep breathe ...
I believe this fella meant the actual projection of liquids not the act of just having an orgasm. Let it be known that while some women's bodies do function this way, many many more do not, in that moment. "The suggestion that women can eject fluid from their genital area as part of sexual arousal has been described as "one of the most hotly debated questions in modern sexology."

So in more than one way that statement shows me that this man really doesn't know all that much about arousing women. Perhaps one woman but not the locker room bragging that he was doing. 

And let it be said, that simply finding our g-spot will not produce the arousal you desire to believe you have created, you studly man you.

The clitoris, not the vagina, has 8,000 nerve endings connected with 15,000 nerve fibers in the pelvic area.The internal walls of the vagina itself do not have a great supply of nerve endings, thus are not very sensitive to touch. The outer one-third of the vagina, especially near the opening, contains nearly 90 percent of the vaginal nerve endings and therefore is much more sensitive to touch than the inner two-thirds of the vaginal barrel. There are no secretory glands in the vagina. During arousal the blood vessels engorge and press upon the tissue which force lubrication to come through the vaginal walls. This would explain why SOME women "squirt" upon orgasm while others do not. It would depend on the force of the muscles pressing against  the tissue. But the absence of this particular visual does not mean a woman has not achieved orgasm.

And might I add that simply having an orgasm doesn't mean you've done the job correctly either. Technique and caring play a strong role in the act of sex and no two orgasms feel the same.

If you truly want to please the woman you are coupling with you must remember to stimulate her brain.  I've even provided a picture for those of you who don't know what that is. I've carefully chosen a photo with pretty colors to add to the attraction of learning about the brain. I've done just about all I can to get you to study this organ but you must do the work.

You see simply knowing where a woman's g-spot is and putting your tongue or finger there is worthless and pointless if you don't start by stroking her brain first.

Now, true enough you can choose an easy brain to stimulate and make the work less for yourself as that fella on twitter this week surely has done or you can see that it's so much more pleasurable to find a woman with intelligence and learn the art of stroking her brain.

Clearly once you've learned how to master this particular stroking, just about any touch of the 8,000 nerves will be so much easier to arouse.

So next time you begin please don't start here
as it's useless if your objective is to pleasure us.


T said...

Lauren -

I am no expert (a has been who goes in spurts... no pun intended), but this is brilliant and funny at the same time!! Kudos!

wendysboys said...

What a great post! Accurate and to the point! You definitely got it right! ;)

Celtic Scribe said...

As a man all I have to say that only a woman knows her body and if a guy wants to know about it then all he has to do is ask!! Great post and thanks for the education!! Keep up the good work. ;-)

Linda said...

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time-
Robin Williams

Opus #6 said...

90% of arousal is in the mind. It is an art, not a science. Sometimes helped that 2 people are very compatible, as in "beshert" or naturally intended. I appreciate this post, and agree with you.

NorsU said...

Good read. Cliff notes from me why you need 2 be friends before lovers , and spot on the mental aspects of eroticism

Tommy3477 said...

Hi Lauren

You are in the wrong line of work you should be a sex educator. You are
100 percent right communication is the number one thing. I am one that strongly believes in friends first.
Woman need conversation=mental stimulation. Thank for sharing this with all of us.


Aleta said...

I agree with Tommy, you should be a sex educator!

Any chance you would share the twitter comments that the man was saying in the argument?

Loved this post by the way!