"The problem here is a totalitarian uniformity, a cult-like mentality such that even allies are enemies if they fail to follow the Exact Party Line. " - Phyllis Chesler

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Letter From The Boss

As the CFO of this business that employees 140 people, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama will be our next President, and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Clients will have to see an increase in our fees to them of about 8% but since we cannot increase our fees right now due to the dismal state of our economy, we will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been eating at me for a while, as we believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who will have to go.

So, this is what I did. I strolled thru our parking lot and found 8 Obama bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. These folks wanted change; I gave it to them.
If you have a better idea, let me know.

Sincerely,
The Boss

5 comments:

David Weldy said...

Damn...just...DAMN!!! What a brilliant idea! I would only add, if they ask why they were chosen, tell them it is all part of PE Obama's message of "change."

DAMN!

Paul Eilers said...

Excellent!

And sort of like "spreading the wealth" - in reverse!

Chat Blanc said...

hahaha! couldn't possibly think of a better way myself. :)

Swirl Girl said...

I have read your posts throughout the election and have made only a few comments.

But, you can't honestly tell me that you blame Obama for the state of our economy as it stands today.

If McCain was elected - there would be some kind of increases in, dare I say taxes or fees, to pay for the bail-out of Wallstreet (and possibly Detroit and whoever comes knocking next) and the conflict in Iraq, wouldn't there? How else is all this to be paid for?

It seems that it is a case of semantics and that damned word taxes which riles you up so much.

If it were called a Patriotic Initiative or something equally as contrite, would be feeling the same hatred (a strong word , yes...but it seems that you are going that way) for the President Elect?

I am sorry if I sound nasty, but if you are going to make decisions like who to lay off based on who didn't vote for 'your guy' then, you may be wielding too much power ...

A New Yorker said...

@swirlgirl- you're missing the point of this funny post. COMPLETELY missing the sarcasm and humor of it. What can I do about that?