Holocaust Remembrance Day is today and tonight in the United States. It is observed on Thursday in Israel. In keeping with Jewish tradition, Jews outside of Israel obvserve holidays on the same day as those in Israel, making Wednesday the day of observance this year.
The internationally–recognized date comes from the Hebrew calendar and corresponds to the 27th day of Nisan on that calendar. When the actual date of Yom Hashoah falls on a Friday (as will happen in 2008) the state of Israel, following the Knesset legislation establishing the event, observes Yom Hashoah on the preceding Thursday.
The New York Times has an inspiring story in today's paper From Auschwitz, a Torah as Strong as Its Spirit. Many ritious Christians paticipated in the saving of this Torah.
Yesterday I wrote about the current genocide happening in the Sudan, not even realizing that today is Holocaust Remembrance Day. How befitting however!
How many times must we say "NEVER AGAIN!"???
"Denying historical facts, especially on such an important subject as the Holocaust, is just not acceptable. Nor is it acceptable to call for the elimination of any State or people. I would like to see this fundamental principle respected both in rhetoric and in practice by all the members of the international community."
Secretary-General-Designate Ban Ki-moon,Press Conference SG/2120, 14 December 2006
OK Mr. Secretary General put your money where your mouth is. Either enforce this principle and policy with respect to the UN Human Rights Commission or again disband it permanetly. Stop the current genocide in Darfur against the innocent black Africans.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
U.N. Sucks
Since I am not doing much dating lately I have decided to write about ongoings in NYC. Today's topic is a serious one. On other days I will keep it light.
Since the United Nations is located here in NYC I have decided to write a little about this organization today.
Did you know that:
During a quarterly meeting three weeks ago, the Human Rights Council passed the resolution ordering its envoys, to investigate countries that intended to repress freedom of expression.
The World Association of Newspapers called the council's action "intolerable" and "part of a dangerous, backward campaign."
Why has the World Association of Newspapers done so? At the meeting just ended, the Council ruled that the Congo deserved no further attention. The current issue of Foreign Affairs magazine says "Congo is now the stage for the largest humanitarian disaster in the world — far larger than in Sudan."
Apparently the Council doesn't consider genocide a human rights priority.
Here's what the representatives do have to say about the current situation in the Sudan:
Malaysia said he "welcomed the progress achieved by the Government of Sudan in improving legislation and the rule of law."
Saudi Arabia praises Sudan "for the positive steps it has taken to improve the situation in the country."
China said it sees, "Positive developments"
The United Arab Emirates says the Sudan is, "making great efforts to resolve the Darfur conflict."
So what is a priority to this Human Rights Council? Just what did they make a permanent feature of theirs? "human rights abuses by Israel." No matter what your views on Israel are, nothing absolutely NOTHING happening there compares to the genocide going on right now in the Sudan!
Do they care about the human right violations in Cuba, Angola, Pakistan? NOPE! Only one or two weeks ago a group of peacefully protesting women in CUBA were rounded up within a half hour of their protest and carted off to jail. Why were they protesting? Because their family members were thrown in jail, without trial and have since been heard from because they spoke their views publically against Castro's government. Is that being looked into? Not in the least.
Who sits on the council: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Nations_Human_Rights_Council
Sudan's government and the pro-government Arab militias are accused of war crimes against the region's black African population, although the UN has stopped short of calling it genocide.
Learn more about the genocide in Sudan here.
Since the United Nations is located here in NYC I have decided to write a little about this organization today.
Did you know that:
During a quarterly meeting three weeks ago, the Human Rights Council passed the resolution ordering its envoys, to investigate countries that intended to repress freedom of expression.
The World Association of Newspapers called the council's action "intolerable" and "part of a dangerous, backward campaign."
Why has the World Association of Newspapers done so? At the meeting just ended, the Council ruled that the Congo deserved no further attention. The current issue of Foreign Affairs magazine says "Congo is now the stage for the largest humanitarian disaster in the world — far larger than in Sudan."
Apparently the Council doesn't consider genocide a human rights priority.
Here's what the representatives do have to say about the current situation in the Sudan:
Malaysia said he "welcomed the progress achieved by the Government of Sudan in improving legislation and the rule of law."
Saudi Arabia praises Sudan "for the positive steps it has taken to improve the situation in the country."
China said it sees, "Positive developments"
The United Arab Emirates says the Sudan is, "making great efforts to resolve the Darfur conflict."
So what is a priority to this Human Rights Council? Just what did they make a permanent feature of theirs? "human rights abuses by Israel." No matter what your views on Israel are, nothing absolutely NOTHING happening there compares to the genocide going on right now in the Sudan!
Do they care about the human right violations in Cuba, Angola, Pakistan? NOPE! Only one or two weeks ago a group of peacefully protesting women in CUBA were rounded up within a half hour of their protest and carted off to jail. Why were they protesting? Because their family members were thrown in jail, without trial and have since been heard from because they spoke their views publically against Castro's government. Is that being looked into? Not in the least.
Who sits on the council: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Nations_Human_Rights_Council
Sudan's government and the pro-government Arab militias are accused of war crimes against the region's black African population, although the UN has stopped short of calling it genocide.
Learn more about the genocide in Sudan here.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Tagged By Barbara: Six Unimportant Things About Me
Rules sans Barbara:
List Six Unimportant Things About Yourself --seems simple enough
1. Link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. Share six unimportant things about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your entry.
I checked out Karyne 's blog as well on the hint from Barbara and realized we had at least one item in common I would never have thought to write about before for this meme. Her number 5: "No Boys Allowed in the Girl's Dorm" -- well it was similar. We were allowed in each others dorm but not in the rooms after certain hours.
So I guess I will make this my first one and explain a little.
1. I had many sex-filled nights in my college boyfriend and later once fiance's dorm room at a theater school I once went to for the first two semesters of college back in 1989-90. Cameron and I screwed like bunnies. There it's out there. HA! I read online he is married now, a working actor and has a little girl and lives in Florida. Unfortunately although we were very much together and were so for about a year and a half, he was and probably still is a seriel cheater. I learned the pattern started before me and continued after. I can't imagine he has changed unless he got some serious therapy. I read about this kind of personality the other day in the local newspaper. The actor (funny another actor) who plays Charlotte's lawyer husband on Sex in the City, recently wrote a book about living with this "condition." If I can find more information I will add a link later.
The rest are probably not nearly as juicy.
2. I fall asleep with the television on unless I am in a relationship and my partner doesn't like this.
3. I will never use those stupid new supposedly environmentally friendly light bulbs. It is the biggest scam running around. Unless forced because the regular ones are no longer made they won't be in my home. They are FULL of mercury. YES FOLKS, and they have to be disposed of in a special way. If they break you have to be careful how you clean up and possibly even call in a special crew. (This was on a news television program recently.) We will be toxing our soil beyond imaginable with these stupid make us feel better about our part bullshit lightbulbs in the next few years. It's bad enough we have all the batteries from our cells etc...I personally don't feel we need to add this to the bad situation. I can't live without my cell but I can live without this type of bulb. If you disagree with me please don't write nasty comments. Each to their own.
4. I had short hair from the time I was 16 until 35. At some points it was VERY VERY short. I only let it grow to where you have seen it today because I was too cheap to pay for a hair cut. I decided I love the way it looks long and love the attention I get and started to take care of it with fun coloring as well, due to the attention I was getting. YES I AM VEIN.
5. I almost never cook. Heck I am single and have been my entire life. Did you really expect differently?
6. I must have my nails done and they must look nice at all times. It is a fetish of mine and I will go without buying food at the grocery store to do this at least once a month. UGH!
My first tag is my new found favorite blog. Jessica is just so cheery and bubbly and I love her spirit.
Thoughtful Reflections
She has a very interesting way of writing about this subject that never seems scummy. I rarely find that so check her out.
SexyAds Blog
This woman has so much confidence. Need I say more?
Julie's Blog
When you need a good giggle go read this great blog.
Totally Pissed Off
When you need a good rant...other than mine HA!
Imagination Madness
Last but not least, if you like reading LONG LONG but interesting posts.
Written Voice
List Six Unimportant Things About Yourself --seems simple enough
1. Link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. Share six unimportant things about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your entry.
I checked out Karyne 's blog as well on the hint from Barbara and realized we had at least one item in common I would never have thought to write about before for this meme. Her number 5: "No Boys Allowed in the Girl's Dorm" -- well it was similar. We were allowed in each others dorm but not in the rooms after certain hours.
So I guess I will make this my first one and explain a little.
1. I had many sex-filled nights in my college boyfriend and later once fiance's dorm room at a theater school I once went to for the first two semesters of college back in 1989-90. Cameron and I screwed like bunnies. There it's out there. HA! I read online he is married now, a working actor and has a little girl and lives in Florida. Unfortunately although we were very much together and were so for about a year and a half, he was and probably still is a seriel cheater. I learned the pattern started before me and continued after. I can't imagine he has changed unless he got some serious therapy. I read about this kind of personality the other day in the local newspaper. The actor (funny another actor) who plays Charlotte's lawyer husband on Sex in the City, recently wrote a book about living with this "condition." If I can find more information I will add a link later.
The rest are probably not nearly as juicy.
2. I fall asleep with the television on unless I am in a relationship and my partner doesn't like this.
3. I will never use those stupid new supposedly environmentally friendly light bulbs. It is the biggest scam running around. Unless forced because the regular ones are no longer made they won't be in my home. They are FULL of mercury. YES FOLKS, and they have to be disposed of in a special way. If they break you have to be careful how you clean up and possibly even call in a special crew. (This was on a news television program recently.) We will be toxing our soil beyond imaginable with these stupid make us feel better about our part bullshit lightbulbs in the next few years. It's bad enough we have all the batteries from our cells etc...I personally don't feel we need to add this to the bad situation. I can't live without my cell but I can live without this type of bulb. If you disagree with me please don't write nasty comments. Each to their own.
4. I had short hair from the time I was 16 until 35. At some points it was VERY VERY short. I only let it grow to where you have seen it today because I was too cheap to pay for a hair cut. I decided I love the way it looks long and love the attention I get and started to take care of it with fun coloring as well, due to the attention I was getting. YES I AM VEIN.
5. I almost never cook. Heck I am single and have been my entire life. Did you really expect differently?
6. I must have my nails done and they must look nice at all times. It is a fetish of mine and I will go without buying food at the grocery store to do this at least once a month. UGH!
My first tag is my new found favorite blog. Jessica is just so cheery and bubbly and I love her spirit.
Thoughtful Reflections
She has a very interesting way of writing about this subject that never seems scummy. I rarely find that so check her out.
SexyAds Blog
This woman has so much confidence. Need I say more?
Julie's Blog
When you need a good giggle go read this great blog.
Totally Pissed Off
When you need a good rant...other than mine HA!
Imagination Madness
Last but not least, if you like reading LONG LONG but interesting posts.
Written Voice
Friday, April 25, 2008
Leo's Odd Meow - For Your Viewing And Listening Pleasure
As promised here is video of Leo's odd meow. And for an extra treat you get to see my ugly toes and hear me say "No" which I think I will be saying a lot around here until he gets a little older.
Everything Ted Safran Knows About Women
Tad Safran from Times Online write what I hope is a satirical look at: Everything he knows about women . . .
Mercy: My Feelings On The Sean Bell Verdict
There is always a danger and tendency to lash back at one's enemies or perceived enemies but my hope is that there will be calm.
There should be no satisfaction in the suffering of others. There are many people who are sad right now. The family members of Mr. Bell for their loss, the police for being involved in such a case, and I am sure for realizing that no matter the intent, they did end a man's life. There are no winners and even if the verdict were guilty there never would have been.
It bothers me to see people crying at the verdict of Not Guilty. I wonder, would it mean they would have been rejoicing if the police were punished?
Because my blog is about me, a single Jewish girl in NYC dating and also about NYC and things that happen to me living here I am touching this issue from this focus. I am fully aware that there are other points of view and angles from which to write about this! Mine does not invalidate the next.
In Judaism there is a concept of "binfol oyevecha al tismach — that you should not rejoice when your enemy falls.
I think it is interesting that this happened during the Jewish holiday of Passover. For those who are not aware, Passover is the holiday where we celebrate our freedom from bondage. It is NOT however a holiday to rejoice in the downfall of the Egyptions. In fact in Judaism it is commanded that when your enemy falls you do not celebrate.
When we are around others who are full of anger and rage we must work harder to not be pulled into those feelings that can result in actions that are hurtful...in this case on a large scale.
I have been watching the news coverage of the outside of the courthouse. I live very close to that location. At this time I pray for peace and calmness and that all those who have suffered loss find some peace in their lives.
Rachmanus is a Hebrew word for Mercy. Our experience in Egypt as slaves was to teach us the lesson of sensitivity to suffering. Let all sides have mercy and understanding for the suffering they are experiencing and the sadness this city would experience should violence spill
There should be no satisfaction in the suffering of others. There are many people who are sad right now. The family members of Mr. Bell for their loss, the police for being involved in such a case, and I am sure for realizing that no matter the intent, they did end a man's life. There are no winners and even if the verdict were guilty there never would have been.
It bothers me to see people crying at the verdict of Not Guilty. I wonder, would it mean they would have been rejoicing if the police were punished?
Because my blog is about me, a single Jewish girl in NYC dating and also about NYC and things that happen to me living here I am touching this issue from this focus. I am fully aware that there are other points of view and angles from which to write about this! Mine does not invalidate the next.
In Judaism there is a concept of "binfol oyevecha al tismach — that you should not rejoice when your enemy falls.
I think it is interesting that this happened during the Jewish holiday of Passover. For those who are not aware, Passover is the holiday where we celebrate our freedom from bondage. It is NOT however a holiday to rejoice in the downfall of the Egyptions. In fact in Judaism it is commanded that when your enemy falls you do not celebrate.
When we are around others who are full of anger and rage we must work harder to not be pulled into those feelings that can result in actions that are hurtful...in this case on a large scale.
I have been watching the news coverage of the outside of the courthouse. I live very close to that location. At this time I pray for peace and calmness and that all those who have suffered loss find some peace in their lives.
Rachmanus is a Hebrew word for Mercy. Our experience in Egypt as slaves was to teach us the lesson of sensitivity to suffering. Let all sides have mercy and understanding for the suffering they are experiencing and the sadness this city would experience should violence spill
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Cat-a-tude
OH MY G-D! I finally understand this phrase. This little boy certainly has it. He is cute as a button. Slept with me all night. Nuzzled in and didn't move. Purrs LOUD. But man oh man if he doesn't like something he lets you know. I will get some video of the sound he makes and get it online for you. There is no way to describe it.
He came home last night from the hospital and he has had a cone on his head for three days. He hasn't bathed in three days and he smells horrible. I couldn't stand it. So I took the cone off and let him clean himself a little and then put it back on for the night.
This morning I took the shower head and sprayed him and wiped him down. He didn't like that very much but the human momma wins! :-) Then I let him clean himself again for an hour and watched him so he couldn't clean where his testicles used to be and open that wound again. He doesn't like when I make him stop...that's for sure.
Here are more photos from this morning. You can see just how big he will be by looking at his leg.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
One Last Test
This is how Leo looked in the visitor's room last night at the hospital where he is an in-patient. As you can clearly see he doesn't look good. I was really upset. But he had a lot of anesthesia yesterday so that they could perform a CAT scan and spinal tap.
Leo had a lot of trouble opening his eyes for me when I visited him after 6PM. His tests were run in the morning.
The Vet said that the fluid tested negative for all infectious diseases. And he thinks the CAT scan looks good, however there is one spot he wants the radiologist to look at because it MIGHT indicate a cancer, BUT it is also a spot that shows on many CAT scans which turns out to be nothing.
We still need to see one more blood test result about the hyperthyroidism which will determine if he stays for a week more, isolated because of the treatment to cure that disease or if he goes home with me tonight, pending the last brain consult this morning.
He was so tired and achy from the drugs that I took the cone off of him so he could be more comfortable. He could barely move, let alone bite where his balls USED to be, and open that wound.
Thank you to all that came and left comments and well wishes!!! It means a lot to both of us.
He is so loved by the staff and the agency that picked him up. I asked the Vet if the Mayors Alliance pays for this kind of testing for all the cats that they pick up that need it and he said sometimes but not always. He thinks that they fell in love with him which helped his situation. It's hard to tell from these photos however, he is a love bug, a kisser and hugger. Just very sweet.
Update: I received a call from Mayors Alliance. Leo's last test came back negative. He is cleared to go home tonight. They have ruled out cancer in his brain. We are waiting on the last thyroid test. If it shows hyperthyroidism he will be brought back for the idonine cure paid for by Mayors Alliance as well.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
A Leo Update
OY VEY! This poor guy.
Thank goodness Mayors Alliance is taking care of the bill. I could never afford this but he needs these test.
Today he had a CAT scan and a spinal tap done. They do not see anything wrong with him from the CAT scan. So now it is crunch time. There are many things that are not good that can be found with the spinal tap test. I am hoping none present. They would basically mean he is too sick and must be put down. I of course don't want that. After losing Emily 14 months ago and this month losing Olivia this would be a cruel trick. However, if this is the case I will accept it as the best thing for him.
I do not know what it stands for but the Vet. mentioned looking for SAP which is fatal. He said his best guess is that they won't find it but he cannot say until the tests come in.
I found the following that I think he may suffer from: FHS, feline hyperosthesia which causes cats to run in circles and have mood changes quickly and meow loudly. This sound like Leo and they say it is stress related. I am sure I can help him with this if this is the case. And I am hoping this is the diagnosis because it doesn't affect their lifespan or other organs.
The only way to get to this diagnosis is to rule out all else. So let's rule everything out!
I will go play with him after work today and get more updates at that time -- hopefully. They tell me the test results may be in tonight or tomorrow morning sometime.
Thank goodness Mayors Alliance is taking care of the bill. I could never afford this but he needs these test.
Today he had a CAT scan and a spinal tap done. They do not see anything wrong with him from the CAT scan. So now it is crunch time. There are many things that are not good that can be found with the spinal tap test. I am hoping none present. They would basically mean he is too sick and must be put down. I of course don't want that. After losing Emily 14 months ago and this month losing Olivia this would be a cruel trick. However, if this is the case I will accept it as the best thing for him.
I do not know what it stands for but the Vet. mentioned looking for SAP which is fatal. He said his best guess is that they won't find it but he cannot say until the tests come in.
I found the following that I think he may suffer from: FHS, feline hyperosthesia which causes cats to run in circles and have mood changes quickly and meow loudly. This sound like Leo and they say it is stress related. I am sure I can help him with this if this is the case. And I am hoping this is the diagnosis because it doesn't affect their lifespan or other organs.
The only way to get to this diagnosis is to rule out all else. So let's rule everything out!
I will go play with him after work today and get more updates at that time -- hopefully. They tell me the test results may be in tonight or tomorrow morning sometime.
Monday, April 21, 2008
NYTIMES: Cat Lovers Appreciate Soul Mate in Vatican
"Benedict’s kindness toward the strays of Rome is already the stuff of Vatican legend. His house in Germany, its garden guarded by a cat statue, was filled with cats when Benedict lived there full time before he was posted to the Vatican in 1982. "
I wasn't aware of this. But in light of my recent posts about Leo I thought this would be fun to share. Click on the link given and you can read the full article in the New York Times.
Update on Leo: He seems to be doing well and will be home soon. I will post the full story soon.
I wasn't aware of this. But in light of my recent posts about Leo I thought this would be fun to share. Click on the link given and you can read the full article in the New York Times.
Update on Leo: He seems to be doing well and will be home soon. I will post the full story soon.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Leo Is At The Vet
Forgive the glowing eyes. I am working with a new camera. Leo is at the Vet. He vomited all night and had blood in his rectum this morning. I am worried that he is not adoptable. But I am hopeful. I spoke with a representative from Mayors Alliance and they are going to take care of all his bills.
He is being retested for hyperthyroidism and if he has it they will pay for the iodine treatment that cures cats. :-)
They are absolutely NOT concerned about his neurological condition. That is really just a birth defect that has no bearing on his over all health. His liver is fine. Let's see what they can do. Because I really like him.
He slept with me all night. He nuzzled in and kissed me and rubbed his head to mine. He likes to sleep right next to me. He is smart as a whip!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
My Speeddate Date Last Night And Leo
OK this has got to be on the list for one of the strangest dates. I am SURE there are others that rate higher but this probably is up there.
I went out with one of the men I met from speeddating last week. He is very nice, cute and charming. I even got a smooch. He was flirty. But I HIGHLY doubt I will hear from him again.
WHY?
Well?!
We met at a place called Pipas Tapas Bar. They are known for their sangrias. We shared a pitcher of them over a nice period of time. After which we agreed to a walk. And we walked past Petco. Do you see where this is going?
I went in and I adopted a boy cat.
OK first, I was NOT wearing that shirt where my arms look like the biggest loafs of bread imaginable. Horrid horrid shot! I put a deposit on him and picked him up today.
Now, the Pope is in town. So I wanted to drive in and get him but I knew I would never make it with the car. I took the subway in and brought the new carrier I bought this morning that looks like a gym bag with wheels.
The photo is from today when I picked him up.
His name is Leo. He has a neurological problem that makes his head dart back and forth and he also walks funny sometimes but not always. They did a lot of blood work on him and all looks well and the Vets at the Mayors Alliance that took him in and fixed him and cleaned him up say this problem won't affect his lifespan. I do hope they are correct and I didn't just give $125 to return a cat that is not a good fit for me. I don't have a problem with his physical problem at all. I have a lot of friends that do healing work and they will work on him. He is very skiddish however and I need him to be calm and sweet for him to be the right fit.
Last night he was so calm and loved being held like a baby and it seemed right. Perhaps I am a sucker. But I lost Emily 14 months ago and mourned for a year. Olivia past away on April 3rd and with a lot of help from my good friend Candace who said some very wise words to me, I walked in on a whim, while on a first date and picked this one year old guy out to take home.
I did want a young cat that might be hard to place. I wanted to do a mitzvah. Hopefully I can keep him.
He seems rather smart and I suspect he was in someone else's home and was thrown out for his issues. He seems to already know "come here" and "get down". I just need him to be calm. I'll keep you updated of course.
I left a deposit for him last night and speeddate guy and I continued on our date. We walked around the West Villiage and had Thai appetizers and chatted. We walked some more and I didn't want to hurt his feelings or be impolite so I let him tell me when he was tired and we ended the date on his comfort level. I know I am supposed to play the game of leaving first but I didn't want to be rude and well... he can think whatever he wants. I know my intent.
There was a smooch. It was decent. Have had better and have had worse. If for some odd reason I hear from him again and we do go out again I will have to teach him my style :-)
But he is either the nicest man ever or a great liar because he didn't seem to care and told me he liked that I was saving a cat. Either way, it's still a strange thing to end up doing on a date and he probably won't call again because of it. But he is welcome as he seemed nice.
I went out with one of the men I met from speeddating last week. He is very nice, cute and charming. I even got a smooch. He was flirty. But I HIGHLY doubt I will hear from him again.
WHY?
Well?!
We met at a place called Pipas Tapas Bar. They are known for their sangrias. We shared a pitcher of them over a nice period of time. After which we agreed to a walk. And we walked past Petco. Do you see where this is going?
I went in and I adopted a boy cat.
OK first, I was NOT wearing that shirt where my arms look like the biggest loafs of bread imaginable. Horrid horrid shot! I put a deposit on him and picked him up today.
Now, the Pope is in town. So I wanted to drive in and get him but I knew I would never make it with the car. I took the subway in and brought the new carrier I bought this morning that looks like a gym bag with wheels.
The photo is from today when I picked him up.
His name is Leo. He has a neurological problem that makes his head dart back and forth and he also walks funny sometimes but not always. They did a lot of blood work on him and all looks well and the Vets at the Mayors Alliance that took him in and fixed him and cleaned him up say this problem won't affect his lifespan. I do hope they are correct and I didn't just give $125 to return a cat that is not a good fit for me. I don't have a problem with his physical problem at all. I have a lot of friends that do healing work and they will work on him. He is very skiddish however and I need him to be calm and sweet for him to be the right fit.
Last night he was so calm and loved being held like a baby and it seemed right. Perhaps I am a sucker. But I lost Emily 14 months ago and mourned for a year. Olivia past away on April 3rd and with a lot of help from my good friend Candace who said some very wise words to me, I walked in on a whim, while on a first date and picked this one year old guy out to take home.
I did want a young cat that might be hard to place. I wanted to do a mitzvah. Hopefully I can keep him.
He seems rather smart and I suspect he was in someone else's home and was thrown out for his issues. He seems to already know "come here" and "get down". I just need him to be calm. I'll keep you updated of course.
I left a deposit for him last night and speeddate guy and I continued on our date. We walked around the West Villiage and had Thai appetizers and chatted. We walked some more and I didn't want to hurt his feelings or be impolite so I let him tell me when he was tired and we ended the date on his comfort level. I know I am supposed to play the game of leaving first but I didn't want to be rude and well... he can think whatever he wants. I know my intent.
There was a smooch. It was decent. Have had better and have had worse. If for some odd reason I hear from him again and we do go out again I will have to teach him my style :-)
But he is either the nicest man ever or a great liar because he didn't seem to care and told me he liked that I was saving a cat. Either way, it's still a strange thing to end up doing on a date and he probably won't call again because of it. But he is welcome as he seemed nice.
Friday, April 18, 2008
From The New York Times: When the Ex Blogs, the Dirtiest Laundry Is Aired
When the Ex Blogs, the Dirtiest Laundry Is Aired
One in 10 adult internet users have a blog according to the Pew Internet and American Life Project.
Apparently I was not alone in starting my blog to help me digest the dissolution of my relationship with DTM. Mine was NOT a marriage...not even close, but the experience of the "relationship" was so traumatic to me that I had to find a way to express my thoughts, feelings, anger, disappointment etc. and I turned to blogging.
I talk a lot with Brian (who has written a wedding blessing post on this blog) and ask him for his guidance and advice about relationships and how and what he thinks about what is directly happening in my life. Brian and I go way back. I know him since I was a babe of 14. He is married now to a wonderful woman and has the most adorable little boy who is three years old.
It's interesting to hear his POV and always helpful. For this unmarried, looking in from the outside can be perplexing. I guess it is "that grass is always greener" thing for many singles, myself totally included.
Brian tells me stories about those we mutually know. I have learned about the short marriages, divorces, single mothers etc. that have happened. And he has shown me and helped me to be strong and comfortable with the path I have chosen.
In reading the article in the Times this morning I again realize how much I have avoided by choosing independence and singlehood for so long. Even with the turmoil I experienced with DTM and for those of you who know me longer than this blog exists, The Plant, I have completely escaped a failed marriage and kids to raise alone, the legal and financial issues that come along with that drama that could have been a part of my life, but isn't.
And I realize that I am happy. Am I happy all the time, every minute. NOPE. NO WAY. NOT POSSIBLE. But over all I am proud of the person I am, who I have become, who I will become and even for the sadder moments that were the lessons I needed to teach me all that I know and for all the lessons to come. Those harder moments can be excrutiating.
Feeling humiliated by DTM was absolutely emotionally excrutiating. But what I have gained from the experience far outweighs those horrible months I spent processing the confusion of the moments I spent with that person. And I am truly grateful for the lesson, now that I am on the other end.
One in 10 adult internet users have a blog according to the Pew Internet and American Life Project.
Apparently I was not alone in starting my blog to help me digest the dissolution of my relationship with DTM. Mine was NOT a marriage...not even close, but the experience of the "relationship" was so traumatic to me that I had to find a way to express my thoughts, feelings, anger, disappointment etc. and I turned to blogging.
I talk a lot with Brian (who has written a wedding blessing post on this blog) and ask him for his guidance and advice about relationships and how and what he thinks about what is directly happening in my life. Brian and I go way back. I know him since I was a babe of 14. He is married now to a wonderful woman and has the most adorable little boy who is three years old.
It's interesting to hear his POV and always helpful. For this unmarried, looking in from the outside can be perplexing. I guess it is "that grass is always greener" thing for many singles, myself totally included.
Brian tells me stories about those we mutually know. I have learned about the short marriages, divorces, single mothers etc. that have happened. And he has shown me and helped me to be strong and comfortable with the path I have chosen.
In reading the article in the Times this morning I again realize how much I have avoided by choosing independence and singlehood for so long. Even with the turmoil I experienced with DTM and for those of you who know me longer than this blog exists, The Plant, I have completely escaped a failed marriage and kids to raise alone, the legal and financial issues that come along with that drama that could have been a part of my life, but isn't.
And I realize that I am happy. Am I happy all the time, every minute. NOPE. NO WAY. NOT POSSIBLE. But over all I am proud of the person I am, who I have become, who I will become and even for the sadder moments that were the lessons I needed to teach me all that I know and for all the lessons to come. Those harder moments can be excrutiating.
Feeling humiliated by DTM was absolutely emotionally excrutiating. But what I have gained from the experience far outweighs those horrible months I spent processing the confusion of the moments I spent with that person. And I am truly grateful for the lesson, now that I am on the other end.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
You Know You Are A True New Yorker When...
(Courtesy of Brian)
You Know You Are a True New Yorker When:
You can understand the meaning of this:
THERE IS NO NORTH AND SOUTH. IT'S 'UPTOWN' OR 'DOWNTOWN.' 
IF YOU'RE REALLY FROM NEW YORK, YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONCEPT OF WHERE NORTH AND SOUTH ARE...AND EAST OR WEST IS 'CROSS-TOWN.'
YOU'RE 35 YEARS OLD AND DON'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE.
YOU RIDE IN A SUBWAY CAR WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE SEATS AVAILABLE.
YOU TAKE THE TRAIN HOME AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE ON THE PLATFORM THE DOORS WILL OPEN THAT WILL LEAVE YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE EXIT STAIRWAY.
YOU KNOW WHAT A 'REGULAR' COFFEE IS.
IT'S NOT MANHATTAN...IT'S THE 'CITY.'
YOU CROSS THE STREET ANY WHERE BUT ON THE CORNERS AND YOU YELL AT CARS FOR NOT RESPECTING YOUR RIGHT TO DO IT.
YOU MOVE 3,000 MILES AWAY, SPEND 10 YEARS LEARNING THE LOCAL LANGUAGE AND PEOPLE STILL KNOW YOU'RE FROM BROOKLYN, LONG ISLAND OR THE BRONX THE MINUTE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
YOU RETURN AFTER 10 YEARS AND THE FIRST FOODS YOU WANT ARE A 'REAL' PIZZA AND A 'REAL' BAGEL.
A 500 SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT IS LARGE.
YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ALL THE DIFFERENT RAY'S PIZZAS.
YOU ARE NOT UNDER THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT ANY HUMAN BEING WOULD BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND A P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT ON THE SUBWAY.
YOU WOULDN'T BOTHER ORDERING PIZZA IN ANY OTHER CITY.
YOU GET READY TO ORDER DINNER EVERY NIGHT AND MUST CHOOSE FROM THE MAJOR FOOD GROUPS WHICH ARE: CHINESE, ITALIAN, MEXICAN OR INDIAN.
YOU'RE NOT THE LEAST BIT INTERESTED IN GOING TO TIMES SQUARE ON NEW YEAR'S EVE.
YOUR INTERNAL CLOCK IS PERMANENTLY SET TO KNOW WHEN ALTERNATE SIDE OF THE STREET PARKING REGULATIONS IS IN EFFECT.
YOU KNOW WHAT A BODEGA IS.
YOU KNOW WHAT A BODEGA IS.
SOMEONE BUMPS INTO YOU AND YOU CHECK FOR YOUR WALLET.
YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE THE LADY WALKING DOWN THE ROAD HAVING A PERFECTLY NORMAL CONVERSATION WITH HERSELF.
YOU PAY 'ONLY' $230 A MONTH TO PARK YOUR CAR.
YOU CRINGE AT HEARING PEOPLE PRONOUNCE HOUSTON ST. LIKE THE CITY IN TEXAS.
THE PRESIDENTIAL VISIT IS A MAJOR TRAFFIC JAM, NOT AN HONOR.
YOU CAN NAP ON THE SUBWAY AND NEVER MISS YOUR STOP.
THE DELI GUY GIVES YOU A STRAW WITH ANY BEVERAGE YOU BUY, EVEN IF IT'S A BEER.
THAT'S NEW YORK, BABY! YA GOTTA LOVE IT.
What's The Most Romantic Thing You Have Had Done For You?
Barbara poses a great question. And I open it to the floor.
Please tell us in the comments section the most romantic thing someone has done for you.
Please tell us in the comments section the most romantic thing someone has done for you.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
I'm On Lay Away!
This idea came to me the other day and I really like it! The next person that asks why I am still single or anything resembling this question will get that exact response. "I am on lay away!"
Do you remember when you were a kid and Mom took you to the store and picked out some clothes and toys for the holiday but then walked to the back and put the items on lay away because the price was a little out of her reach at the moment but she really wanted to make sure those items didn't go to someone else?
Well I and my future husband are both on lay away! We are these really great items that are rather expensive and take time to afford. Each of us is doing our part to "pay our way", not with money of course, but in life experiences and knowledge, until we get to that 100% PAID IN FULL and meet each other!
Do you remember when you were a kid and Mom took you to the store and picked out some clothes and toys for the holiday but then walked to the back and put the items on lay away because the price was a little out of her reach at the moment but she really wanted to make sure those items didn't go to someone else?
Well I and my future husband are both on lay away! We are these really great items that are rather expensive and take time to afford. Each of us is doing our part to "pay our way", not with money of course, but in life experiences and knowledge, until we get to that 100% PAID IN FULL and meet each other!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
What Do You Think About: Online reservations only at NYC hot spot
Online reservations only at NYC hot spot Momofuku Ko is only taking online reservations, no exceptions. Apparently it's the latest hotspot.
Before I read this article, only seeing the headline teaser I thought to myself, what a great idea? This would make things easier. However, this particular place is rather small, about 600 sq ft. Although to a true New Yorker this is about twice the size of most people's apartments. But I digress.
As I read further I realized how ingenius this idea was. It actually makes it harder to get a table and creates such a buzz and desire...after all who wants something that is easy to obtain right? Think about Xmas time and the Xbox situation.
This principle translates well into the dating world. Barbara, that smart woman, wrote about it today on her blog. Candidly she admits how in her younger "hey days" (as if they are truly gone, I think not) she played wild games with men and the more they were nice and easy the less interested she was in them. She goes on to describe people as "A" or "B" types. "B's" are those that are more insecure and usually are more focused on does he or she like me. Then she poses the thought and question that we should really be thinking "But do I really want them?"
This Chef/Owner puts that question to us subliminaly. He creates that insecurity that makes us chase him to get a table and try his pricey food. Ingenius.
Before I read this article, only seeing the headline teaser I thought to myself, what a great idea? This would make things easier. However, this particular place is rather small, about 600 sq ft. Although to a true New Yorker this is about twice the size of most people's apartments. But I digress.
As I read further I realized how ingenius this idea was. It actually makes it harder to get a table and creates such a buzz and desire...after all who wants something that is easy to obtain right? Think about Xmas time and the Xbox situation.
This principle translates well into the dating world. Barbara, that smart woman, wrote about it today on her blog. Candidly she admits how in her younger "hey days" (as if they are truly gone, I think not) she played wild games with men and the more they were nice and easy the less interested she was in them. She goes on to describe people as "A" or "B" types. "B's" are those that are more insecure and usually are more focused on does he or she like me. Then she poses the thought and question that we should really be thinking "But do I really want them?"
This Chef/Owner puts that question to us subliminaly. He creates that insecurity that makes us chase him to get a table and try his pricey food. Ingenius.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Dr. Phil's Show On Men Learning How To Pick Up Women
Wondering what you think about this? It's the story under "Women Beware".
I found what they shared online interesting. And funny enough I learned a new phrase that basically was what happened to me with DTM. The more I continue to delve into the ins and outs of dating with the informal workshops and talks I have been going to, and now reading about this episode, the more I realize just how damn naive I have been.
DTM was part of what these guys term a "seduction community". Beware readers...they will call it a place for communication games. Some as in the case with my Ex's group will pretend there is a spiritualness to what they are teaching you as well. They will never admit that what they are really doing is teaching you how to seduce for seducing sake only.
There's two parts to this episode. The second part features only one guy and he talks about the more seductionish methods he teaches. He explains, "One of the things they rely on doing is flipping women back and forth between feeling like they’re being approved of and feeling like they’re being criticized. They do something called push-pull, where they’ll give the women a little attention, and then they’ll pull it away, so she doubts whether they’re attracted to her or not. They use a lot of invalidation, the theory being that if you invalidate a woman, she’ll have sex with you to prove her attractiveness.” He adds that they use canned routines, and when they ask for a woman's opinion, they really don’t care. "There's a lot of deception."
I found what they shared online interesting. And funny enough I learned a new phrase that basically was what happened to me with DTM. The more I continue to delve into the ins and outs of dating with the informal workshops and talks I have been going to, and now reading about this episode, the more I realize just how damn naive I have been.
DTM was part of what these guys term a "seduction community". Beware readers...they will call it a place for communication games. Some as in the case with my Ex's group will pretend there is a spiritualness to what they are teaching you as well. They will never admit that what they are really doing is teaching you how to seduce for seducing sake only.
There's two parts to this episode. The second part features only one guy and he talks about the more seductionish methods he teaches. He explains, "One of the things they rely on doing is flipping women back and forth between feeling like they’re being approved of and feeling like they’re being criticized. They do something called push-pull, where they’ll give the women a little attention, and then they’ll pull it away, so she doubts whether they’re attracted to her or not. They use a lot of invalidation, the theory being that if you invalidate a woman, she’ll have sex with you to prove her attractiveness.” He adds that they use canned routines, and when they ask for a woman's opinion, they really don’t care. "There's a lot of deception."
And in a nutshell...that is EXACTLY what happened to me all those months ago...which was the catalyst for me to start to blog. I was so incredibly confused and humiliated and I just didn't have the words or understanding for what I had just experienced.
Does knowing all this change anything for me at this point? Not really. I have gone through many stages of healing over this experience and I hope I am pretty much done. But there might be others living this or at their confused stage. I hope this information helps those women reading this now.
Personally, from what I read on Dr. Phil's site about his latest show, I don't think the intent of what this first group is doing is evil or malicious. In fact it sounds to me much like what I am trying to learn for myself so that I truly do communicate better with men.
I think it is all about intent. What do you think?
Here's Barbara's thoughts on this subject.
Friday, April 11, 2008
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