tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742667886912606708.post7110763873435450636..comments2023-10-20T05:36:23.587-04:00Comments on Can You Be A Part Of My Life: How TO Date Men?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742667886912606708.post-37730636787666084562007-12-18T22:11:00.000-05:002007-12-18T22:11:00.000-05:00Perplex, if all men were as wonderful as you Laure...Perplex, if all men were as wonderful as you Lauren and I would not have to look far to find one suitable for either of us.Bar L.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11100008292699584336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742667886912606708.post-44766978577806892202007-12-18T16:52:00.000-05:002007-12-18T16:52:00.000-05:00There are a lot of guys who want that, it's just t...There are a lot of guys who want that, it's just that many of them don't realize that that's what they want (at least not initially).<BR/><BR/>If a guy seems concerned about his future and seems to plan ahead, there's a good chance that he may have reached the stage where he realizes he wants more than just a pretty face-- he wants the pretty face with the great personality will still be there after the pretty face is lined with wrinkles and that beautiful flaxen hair has turned to a grey or white.<BR/><BR/>If the guy is still stuck on the here and now, chances are he hasn't reached that point yet. Or worse yet, if he's too much of a nostalgia buff, chances are he's still pining over the past (and possibly a past love whose shadow you'll never live up to because he has her on much too high a pedestal for anyone to ever come close to climbing).Perplexiohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09971805688658949769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742667886912606708.post-3269679232937801982007-12-18T14:15:00.000-05:002007-12-18T14:15:00.000-05:00Perplexio: I read your post and love it. I guess ...Perplexio: I read your post and love it. I guess I am just stuck in the stage of "I wish." I wish the last man I dated understood the things you wrote. <BR/><BR/>Unfortunately, although he begged me to give him a chance to prove he really wanted more, the truth was the opposite and I am kicking myself in the ass for giving him the chance. I am still licking my wounds and I am not proud of this fact. <BR/><BR/>So where is the guy for me that will accept my granny panties along with the pretty ones too?A New Yorkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11997572457756451648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742667886912606708.post-87238948464168569232007-12-18T13:23:00.000-05:002007-12-18T13:23:00.000-05:00PS: I found an old blog posting that goes into gre...PS: I found an old blog posting that goes into <A HREF="http://wreallywrandom.blogspot.com/2006/09/exile-at-library.html" REL="nofollow">greater detail how us blokes are wired.</A><BR/><BR/>See also the movie <I>High Fidelity</I> with John Cusack (or read the Nick Hornby novel that the film was based on). It's a dangerous book for the ladies to read because it gives away so many of our "guy secrets." Why we do what we do and what not...Perplexiohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09971805688658949769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6742667886912606708.post-71205643110588744452007-12-18T11:58:00.000-05:002007-12-18T11:58:00.000-05:00I can't speak for all men, but honestly on the fir...I can't speak for all men, but honestly on the first date we're generally just as nervous as you are. We aren't being ourselves, not because we don't want to, but because we're just too nervous to. We're overly self-conscious and thus somewhat reserved. Therefore you're getting, at best, a "muted" version of what we're really like and at worst, you're getting a bumbling fool tripping over his own words trying to make a good first impression. It's true that we never get a 2nd chance to make a first impression, but sometimes it's nice to get a chance to make a 2nd impression as we're generally more comfortable on the 2nd date.<BR/><BR/>Often on the 2nd or 3rd date (depending on how well or poorly the the first date went) we're testing our dates. Pushing buttons and what not, seeing how the date reacts. <BR/><BR/>Also keep in mind, that whether or not they want to admit it, as guys get older we hear a ticking clock as well. Older guys are more apt to "grill you" than younger guys who haven't yet started to feel that pressure and fear of being alone. Therefore they try to pack a lifetime's worth of questions into the 2nd and 3rd date. The fact that this last guy grilled you tells me he was/is desperate. He wants to find not just a mate but the RIGHT one and he wants to find her fast. No time for small talk, time for the big questions... *bam*bam*bam*. If you answer them wrong, he doesn't want to waste any further time with you, time to move on and find someone who does... rinse and repeat.<BR/><BR/>And yes it should be light and a bit more relaxed in the beginning, if it's not that's generally a good warning sign to cut and run before things get too crazy.Perplexiohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09971805688658949769noreply@blogger.com